Floss, polish and reclamation

Don’t you love going to the dentist for a cleaning? Your teeth feel so smooth and clean. You can go like this “thhhhhh” between every tooth.

We know we’re suppose to clean our teeth like that after every meal, but we don’t. It’s not that we can’t clean our own teeth or we don’t know how. It’s just better when someone else does it.

So, here’s my big idea…

How about we set up Floss N’ Go booths at the mall food court?

You finish your lunch, you pop in there and for like 5.99 they professionally floss your teeth and you get on with your day.

Maybe there could even be a 6.99 ‘floss and polish’ special too, or the 8.99 ‘floss, polish and reclamation’ special?

With the ‘floss, polish and reclamation’ special the “FPR”. They could baggy all the remnant food bits they collect from your mouth and you could take them home for the dog or for a snack for later. Okay… that’s gross.

Good idea?

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Friday the 13th. So?

Friday the 13th is a date considered to be bad luck in most of North American. Although most experts agree, there is no real evidence to support a “Friday the 13th” superstition and no real cause to fear the date.

The fear of Friday the 13th has been called friggatriskaidekaphobia (Frigga being the name of the Norse goddess for whom “Friday” is named and triskaidekaphobia meaning fear of the number thirteen).

The Dutch Centre for Insurance Statistics (CVS), stated that “fewer accidents and reports of fire and theft occur on Friday the 13th than on other Fridays, because people are preventatively more careful. Statistically speaking, driving is slightly safer on Friday the 13th.

Source: Wikipedia article

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Why you will not be able to keep your resolution

Gen_topfive

from 4 years ago…

Top five reasons why you may not be able to keep your New Year’s resolution this year.

#5. Those patches don’t stick very well.

#4. You’re just the President and you really don’t have that much power if Congress won’t support your ideas.

#3. Everyone else is making it difficult for you to do it and that’s why you can never do anything with your life.

#2. That pesky hobbit stole your ring and now Sméagol is really ticked at you.

#1. You forgot you made a resolution this year and have already done it twice.

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The Cost of Christmas 2016

The cost of Christmas has gone up slightly (mostly because of an increases in the price of Turtle Doves and wage increases for Drummers and Pipers).
Merry Christmas! – Mike

The cost of each gift item, once: $34,363.49 (US) = $46,475.96 (CDN)

The true cost of all the gifts, when you count each repetition in the song (364 gift items): $156,507.88 (US) = $211,675.72 (CDN)


Click the image to enlarge

More here (PNCChristmasPriceIndex.com)…

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Opting out of Christmas?

opt-out-christmas
Would you like to avoid all the stress of Christmas gift buying this year? Why not opt-out?

Here are the top five benefits of opting out of Christmas.

#5. A chance to ignore all the crass commercialism and concentrate on the true meaning of mindless shopping and the endless worship of our possessions.

#4. Double-time-and-a-half if you go to work.

#3. January’s Mastercard bill should weigh a little less.

#2. Seven tons of plastic, cardboard and twisties won’t be sitting in your bin for three weeks, while you try to figure out when the next blue zone pick up will be.

#1. Pout, shout, cry and stay up as late as you want kids!


Seriously?

“Almost 80% of Canadians surveyed by RBC have gotten gifts they don’t like. So give something else: Give the gift of time. Instead of buying presents, go for brunch with your gang or go on an excursion with the family. If you want to give the gift of giving, consider charity: The Western Union Holiday Gifting Index says 87% of Canadian consumers would trade one of their holiday gifts to make someone else happy.  [Here’s the article…]”

 

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Why are Cubs fans so emotional?

CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 02: Actor Bill Murray reacts on the field after the Chicago Cubs defeated the Cleveland Indians 8-7 in Game Seven of the 2016 World Series at Progressive Field on November 2, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio. The Cubs win their first World Series in 108 years. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 678125603 ORIG FILE ID: 620750626
CLEVELAND, OH – NOVEMBER 02: Actor Bill Murray reacts on the field after the Chicago Cubs defeated the Cleveland Indians 8-7 in Game Seven of the 2016 World Series at Progressive Field on November 2, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio. The Cubs win their first World Series in 108 years. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 678125603 ORIG FILE ID: 620750626

It was 1908. No Internet, no tv, and we were still 12 years away from the first radio station.

-The average worker made .20/hr.
-Theodore Roosevelt was the President of the U.S., Wilfrid Laurier was our Prime Minister and BC’s Premier was Richard McBride.
-14% of homes had a bathtub.
-8% of the homes had a telephone.
-There were 8,000 cars and 144 miles of paved roads in the US.
-98% of all doctors did not have a college education.
-There was no Tim Hortons, but you could make your own coffee for fifteen cents a pound– (that’s .003 per cup).
-The Cubs won the World Series.

It’s been a very long time.

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Are you too old for Trick-or-Treating this #Halloween?

Mike Benny costume. The Radio Whisperer meets The Dog Whisperer...
Mike Benny costume. The Radio Whisperer meets The Dog Whisperer…

I think anyone at any age can dress up and celebrate Halloween, but when it comes to actually going door-to-door and trick-or-treating, there are some signs that you might be too old for that…

You might be too old to trick-or-treat this year…

  • When someone drops a treat in your bag, you lose you balance and fall over.
  • You knock on the door and say “Trick or…..”.
  • You get other kids to chew your treats for you (or the dog), just to get them nice and soft.
  • You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
  • You actually remember when Halloween was called All Hallows Eve.
  • At every door, you stop and explain that your treats can’t contain aspartame, because it makes you really gassy.

More on Halloween here !

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An open letter to Bears

Dear Bears,

twobearsYesterday I pulled out the slow-cooker to make some turkey soup with my Thanksgiving leftovers.

I make the soup in the garage so the whole house doesn’t smell like soup (I’ve had issues in the past – some experimental soups that didn’t smell too great).

This morning I stepped into the garage and I was struck by this wondrous aroma – turkey, carrots, celery, onions, potatoes, sea salt, black pepper, poultry spice, rosemary, thyme, a hint of oregano – – the smell is fantastic. I think to myself “this must be driving the bears nuts”.

I know you guys are in the neighborhood, I’ve seen you going through the trash containers left out at night. I’ve seen your poop in the morning.

The garage door opens…

Not one bear.

No sign of a bear.

Be honest – you guys have licked clean the inside of a mushroom soup can that’s covered in coffee grounds that’s lying beside a diaper…

… but you weren’t enticed at all by the aroma of my soup? 🙁

That hurts.

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