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Sunday, 14 March 2010 18:55 |
 Boy it sure was windy on the weekend. How windy was it?
#5. It blew the clocks ahead one hour!
#4. It was the only thing slowing down the Toyota's!
#3. It blew off some of the letters on the Baptist church sign. Apparently, now everyone is invited to “_ _rive earl_ _o me_ _ _he new pre_st”.
#2. All the cars in our parking lot are in the south end.
#1. I fell asleep in Kansas and woke up in Oz! |
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Friday, 12 March 2010 05:01 |
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 This weekend we change from Standard Time to Daylight Savings Time by moving our clocks ahead one hour Saturday night. Mike's top five good things about losing an hour over the weekend.
#5. If you forget to change your clock. You can cut right to communion when you're an hour late for church!
#4. Every hour not spent shoveling doggie nuggets is a good hour.
#3. With any luck you'll miss the whole first hour of Celebrity Apprentice, Sunday night.
#2. It's fun to watch that show 24 and pick it apart because it's not called 23.
#1. One less hour of kids complaining "there's nothing to do.."
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Wednesday, 10 March 2010 07:11 |
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 St. Patrick’s Day is one week today and here are the top five preparations you should be making for the big green event.
#5. Start setting up your “call in sick” for the 18th (Cough, cough, oh no I may be coming down with something. By next Tuesday you should be “man, I've been fighting this for a week now”).
#4. Listen to U2 and Van Morrison records, or if you’re a real glutton for punishment, Green Day.
#3. Forge a birth certificate for use at Kelly O'Brien's.
#3a. Remove the giant construction paper Valentine's heart from the fridge and replace it with the giant construction paper shamrock.
#2. Haul out the Patty O’ Furniture.
#1. Start cooking now so dinner is good and green by the 17th.
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Tuesday, 09 March 2010 04:20 |
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 The Dragons’ Den is holding an open audition in Prince George on March 11th. All inventors and inovators are welcome to show their offerings. When it comes to inventions and inovations; they're not all good. There have been quite a few failures in the past. So we don't repeat our mistakes, here are Mike's top five inventions that have failed in the past.
#5. The 1-D camera.
#4. Preparation G.
#3. Parking meter cozies.
#2. Prorogue-gane (a hair tonic that pauses hair growth).
#1. The precursor to G-Mail; F-Mail!
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Friday, 05 March 2010 07:02 |
 The first Friday of March is always considered Employee Appreciation Day. Mike's top five ways for bosses to show appreciation for employees.
#5. Keep your depreciative comments and constant belittling down to once or twice an hour.
#4. Quit it with the Cape Canaveral countdown at 4:59:50 everyday.
#3. At today's staff meeting make an effort to get one or two names right.
#2. Stop muttering the spell 'exspellus terminus employee-us' every time you walk past an employee.
#1. Try the 40 pack of Timbits once in a while (the 20 pack just screams 'cheapo'). |
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Wednesday, 03 March 2010 04:40 |
 The 57th Annual PG Music Festival is wrapping up. Two Finale Performances will be Friday night at the PG Playhouse. “The Showcase” at 5:30pm (I'll be there to host) and then “The Gala Concert” at 8pm. Gala tickets are $10.00 and available at Studio 2880 or at the door. Again this year, I was entered in the music festival, but I didn't do so well. Here are some of the reasons why I think I didn't do so well.
#5. Some in the audience seemed put off by my Team Canada jersey, my big foam finger and the uni-tard I borrowed from Judy Russel's The Nutcracker!
#4. The words “utterly awful” seemed to come up a lot during judges comments.
#3. The bulk of my repertoire may have included too many Kesha and Lady Gaga songs (particularly my accordion remix of TikTok).
#2. Apparently nothing on Guitar Hero II qualifies as Post Romantic Impressionist.
#1. One of the judges may have a point - maybe I have watched School of Rock too many times. |
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 04:54 |
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 March is here! Aside from Olympic athletes that inspired a nation going back to surviving on dorm food and begging for government hand outs. Mike's top five other ways you can tell it's March.
#5. Five months worth of doggie nuggets are simmering on school fields and playgrounds.
#4. We've been out of playoff contention for several weeks already.
#3. After missing the RRSP deadline again, you realize you've been mathematically eliminated from retirement.
#2. A lot more kids in elementary schools raising their hands to spell this month more than last month.
#1. You have soccer cleats, court shoes AND hockey skates in the back of the van.
#1a. Feels like you haven't heard the word Groundhog in quite a few weeks.
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Monday, 01 March 2010 00:00 |
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 With the Olympics over, the TV can now be returned to it's natural state. Mike's top five signs the TV is back to normal.
#5. Nothing much worthwhile on.
#4. Jay Leno has a new job (his old one).
#3. Your eyes have to adjust back to a regular-def TV picture.
#2. The only talk of gold and silver is now from those "Cash for Gold" commercials (http://www.cashforgoldcanada.com/).
#1. World class elite athletics replaced by a rude British guy in a tight t-shirt, 20 castaways at Tribal Council and Uncle Charlie trying to put Tiger Woods out of business.
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Tuesday, 23 February 2010 12:22 |
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 The 2010 Winter Olympics wrap up on Sunday. Mike's top five signs the Olympics are almost over.
#5. More excuses than empties on Vancouver streets.
#4. You've totally memorized Germany's and Norway's national anthems.
#3. Note to self: Get kids out of hockey and into short track speed skating and curling.
#2. You've had enough of picturing fellow co-workers from around the office wearing those speed skater suits.
#1. The Team Canada jersey you've worn to work for the last two weeks is starting to smell a little 'game worn'.
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Monday, 22 February 2010 11:59 |
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 Auctionnet is online now. They say this year there is more than 400,000 dollars worth of merchandise and services up for bid. If you're new to online auctions, here are Mike's top five tips for CKPGAuctionnet.
#5. Unlike 'live' auctions, jumping up and down and waving your hands: perfectly fine.
#4. Be inventive with your screen name. Don'tTouchMyDrill, LeaveThisItemAlone002 or thisItemIsDiscontinued234.
#3. Avoid phoning every 15 minutes just to double check that we got your bid.
#2. If you're on Auctionnet at work. Every once in while, look at your desk and move a piece of paper around a bit.
#1. Remember the more people who know about this, the more competition, so whatever you do, try and keep it to yourself!
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