Category: Top Five

Free advice for students entering the job market

Macleans.ca had an article with some tips for summer job seekers, you can read the whole article here.  Here are just a few of the tips from the article — and a few tips of my own.

  • 1. Crack the hidden job market
    Most jobs aren’t advertised.
  • 2. Summer jobs matter more than you think
    You may be tempted to return to that retail gig you held in high school. Resist the urge. The type of job you get this summer will influence the type of job you’ll get next summer and far into the future.
  • 3. Head West! (Or North. Or East.)
    If you live in a university town, you’re going to have intense competition for the best summer jobs.
  • 4. Clean up after yourself online
  • 5. Don’t forget the keywords
    The first thing some human resources managers do with a stack of applications is sort though them to eliminate those that don’t reference keywords from the job ad.
Oh ya -- and don't be late!

I have some advice of my own for students entering the job market. Mike’s top five mistakes made by students on their first job interview.

#5. Bringing your DS, in case things get boring during the interview.

#4. Admitting you failed food save – but explaining it was lame-oh anyway.

#3. Including sleeping and pounding your brother on your list of “hobbies and interests”.

#2. Saying you sure hope your office will be nicer than this one.

#1. Ending the interview with “t-minus-zero, snooze fest out”.

more from last year’s Top Five…

Top five mistakes made at job interviews
#5. Looking at your watch after 15 minutes and saying “Oh man, look at theee time. When is my break anyway”.
#4. Plugging in your iPod then explaining, “It’s okay, I’ll keep the volume low, so I shouldn’t miss much.”
#3. Admitting you failed food save – but explaining it was lame-oh anyway.
#2. Including your uncanny ability to be caller 10 and caller 12 as one of your strengths.
#1. At the end of the interview – yelling “SPOILER ALERT! IN THE END I GET YOUR JOB!”

 

Five ways to prepare for the May long weekend

May not be a good time to camp

Mike’s top five ways to prepare for the May long weekend.

#5. Switch from spf 15 to Turtle Wax.

#4. Hide all your camping gear, before the kids find it.

#3. Stock up! It’s called the “May 2-4” weekend for a reason.

#2. Spend $75 on a fishing license and fishing gear, just to end up at the Save On fish counter by Sunday night anyway.

#1. Fill every container you own with gasoline, before the price goes thru the roof at 5pm Friday!

and if you’re actually contemplating going camping this weekend, here are the top five signs you need to invest in an RV.

#5. After tenting last year on the May long weekend, you ended up with both frostbite AND sunburn.

#4. You caught your kids on craigslist offer to sell a Coleman stove, lantern and tent, cheap!

#3. Your tent trailer doubles as a wheelbarrow in the off season.

#2. One night in the rain, shivering in the fetal position, while watching vulture-sized mosquitoes carry off your Shih Tzu, is one night too many.

#1. Puss filled, blotchy, swollen eyes and face from a rare combination of mosquito bites, allergies and using gasoline to start the campfire.

How to tell Mom wasn’t too pleased with Mother’s Day

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. How can you tell if mom was happy with her day? Top five ways to tell mom wasn’t too happy with Mother’s Day.

#5. This mornings coffee has more than a slight hint of nutmeg.

#4. Usual pressed shirt replaced with a slightly damp sweater that smells like the dog.

#3. Instead of lunches for the kids – brown paper bags full of poop.

#2. Usual quiet ride to school is replaced with hysterical, uber white-knuckle, “Grand theft Auto 4″ level-ten, type ride.

#1. Before serving dinner tonight – mom reenacts a scene from the movie 300. Wearing a Spartan warrior costume – she shouts “tonight we dine in *ell”!

Top five signs you’re a mom…

#5. You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you have spilled
your guts to a telemarketer.

#4. Spit is your number one cleaning agent (and hair gel).

#3. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.

#3a.You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

#2. You cling to high moral ground when it comes to your kids threatening each other with toy weapons; however you would be willing to look the other way when it comes to Caillou (that kid is ___ whiner!!!).

#1. You have hidden in the bathroom in your own house.

More here…

Top five things my mother taught me

My Mother taught me well

I’m not sure where this came from, but it sure is right-on.

The top five things my mother taught me…

#5. My mother taught me logic. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

#4. My mother taught me irony. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

#3. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

#2. My mother taught me about contortion-ism. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

#1. My mother taught me religion. “You better pray that stain comes out of the carpet.”

Top five things mom doesn’t want for Mother’s Day

Some Mothers know how to do it

Mike’s top five things mom probably doesn’t really want for Mother’s Day.

#5. Breakfast in bed. Unless you’re planning on doing ALL the dishes and putting everything away, cold food on a tray is not a treat.

#4. “Parenting made easy” from Lohan – Spears publishing.

#3. The “Wine Bra”. I know it seeeems like a great idea and Dad really likes his beer hat, but ..

#2. “If she liked the Snuggie, she’ll love the Snay-pron (Snuggie apron combo), right?” No!

#1. This poem:
Today is your special day. It has arrived.
Instead of dinner, let’s watch the Flyers in game five.

The top five things mom really wants for Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is coming up on Sunday, so here are some things that mom really wants for Mother’s Day. Mike’s top five things mom really wants for Mother’s Day.

#5. To eat an entire meal without the discussion of human bodily functions at the table.

#4. Go shopping at the mall without the “why is this person my mother” look.

#3. At least five minutes in the bathroom without someone knocking on the door because they can’t find something.

#2. Not the entire Die Hard series on Blue Ray, not a kettle, not a good sturdy shovel (unless you want to wear it).

#1. I believe the correct formula is, hours of labour multiplied by years of service, expressed in dollars (rounded up).

It’s Teacher Appreciation Week

It’s Teacher Appreciation Week. We should all show appreciation to the teachers that have made us who we are today. Here are the teachers that have made me who I am today.

#5. Mr. Drieger; who taught me there are two principal’s lists, a good one and the other one.

#4. Mr. Engin; who taught me, you CAN fail racquetball.

#3. Mr. Knob; who taught me restraint and not to always use the easy punchlines.

#2. Mr. Kotter; who taught me never to sign notes from home, ‘Mike’s mom’.

#1. Mrs. Dubner; My favorite teacher quote: “Mr. Benny, if you think, when you get out in the real world, you’ll be able to find a job where you just sit around and tell jokes all day, you are sadly mistaken!”

Top five things that will change now that minimum wage has gone up

Pennies
Can I have more Sir?
Minimum wage went up May 1st! Here are Mike’s top five things that will change now that minimum wage has gone up.

#5. All those stereotypes about “starving students” will be changed to just “hungry students”.

#4. All those stereotypes about “unfair, greedy bosses”, changed to “gloating, unfair, greedy bosses”.

#3. More Facebook users will friend Christy Clarke now.

#2. We will be injecting so much money into the “buying groceries and paying rent” section of the economy, that we might destabilize the “frivolous and self gratifying” section of the economy.

#1. Radio Djs might actually start eating in sit down restaurants.

Mike’s top five things May means in Prince George

Calendar
It's May!

Hey look, it’s May! Top five things May means in Prince George.

#5. May snow, may not snow (‘course that’s June too!)

#4. Once again, another Nation Disc Jockey Day goes by without it being declared a National Holiday.

#3. You start getting calls from that Electronics store that had that Don’t Pay Til May Event last year.

#2. Your favourite hockey team, once again, is off the ice before the ice is off the lake.

#1. Radio announcers switch to seasonally correct: Neon shorts with black dress socks and sandals!

#1a. We’ve been out of it long enough – we’re now technically closer to next Cougar season, than the last Cougar season.