73% of women surveyed said they are more inclined to date someone who has a pet. So if you’d like to attract a future mate, but you don’t want to make the investment of time and money in a real pet – Mike’s top five ways to fake that you are a pet owner.

#5. Let her know your pet is very shy and probably will just go straight to his safe-place as soon as she arrives.

#4. Keep a leash and a stash of poo bags on the passenger seat of your car.

#3. When you’re out with your future wife and you see any animal; immediately crouch down, pet the animal and say to the owner “awwwww, what’s his name?”.

#2. Every once in while refer to your future wife by your pretend pet’s name (unless your pretend pet’s name is Vicky, Lindsay, Stephanie, Pam, Linda, Colleen, Denise or Wendy).

#1. Wouldn’t hurt to go to work smelling like a wet dog once in while.