A few days ago Mike did a top five list of ways to tell your cat is no super star (remember the one about Morris the Cat?). Well here are the top five ways to tell YOUR DOG is no super star. Sylvia.

#5. Always misses the fire hydrant.

#4. Has no idea what w-a-l-k spells.

#3. Goes outside to do his business and gets all distracted by the shiny blades of grass.

#2. Every time he finally catches and bites his tale he gets distracted by a shooting pain coming from the rear.

#1. You throw a stick – he comes back 35 minutes later, in a cab!