Tag Archive for dog

How to fake that you are a pet owner

May 22, 2012 Top Five No comments

Keep a leash in the car

73% of women surveyed said they are more inclined to date someone who has a pet. So if you’d like to attract a future mate, but you don’t want to make the investment of time and money in a real pet – Mike’s top five ways to fake that you are a pet owner.

#5. Let her know your pet is very shy and probably will just go straight to his safe-place as soon as she arrives.

#4. Keep a leash and a stash of poo bags on the passenger seat of your car.

#3. When you’re out with your future wife and you see any animal; immediately crouch down, pet the animal and say to the owner “awwwww, what’s his name?”.

#2. Every once in while refer to your future wife by your pretend pet’s name (unless your pretend pet’s name is Vicky, Lindsay, Stephanie, Pam, Linda, Colleen, Denise or Wendy).

#1. Wouldn’t hurt to go to work smelling like a wet dog once in while.

Top five ways to spot an unlicensed dog in Prince George

April 19, 2012 Top Five No comments
The PG Shih Tzu

The PG Shih Tzu

The city of Prince George is going to hire two people to go door-to-door checking to see if dog owners have a license.

Positions have been posted for two part time dog license canvassers. The city hopes to increase revenue from licensing by identifying dog owners who are not licensing their pet. – CKPG News

First of all this doesn’t make any sense as a revenue generator.Let’s say…

  • The City will pay it’s “canvassers” $17/hr each.
  • The average dog license fee is $22.00 to $27.50.
  • Each canvasser will have to sell at least one license every hour just to make any money at all.
  • If they do manage to sell one license per hour (which would be very difficult for anyone selling anything door-to-door), the City would turn a tidy profit of maybe $7 (minus the fuel, the benefits and the admin).
  • This is a “revenue stream”?

Top five ways to spot an unlicensed dog.

#5. He doesn’t have a little “L” or an “N” in the window of his doghouse.

#4. When asked for his license, he starts acting all aloof and pretends to be a cat.

#3. When confronted by a bylaw official, pretends he doesn’t speak English.

#2. Driving home from the vet, you get pulled over by the police and he asks you to quickly change seats with him.

#1. You ask if he wants to go for a W-A-L-K and he says he’d rather D-R-I-V-E.

This dog is a licker

January 26, 2012 Benny blog, Photos No comments

Dog is a licker-dog

Hole in the ball? Wasn’t me.

January 18, 2012 Benny blog, Photos No comments

Umm.. there's a hole in my ball.

Ways to tell your dog is no super star

July 25, 2011 Top Five No comments

A few days ago Mike did a top five list of ways to tell your cat is no super star (remember the one about Morris the Cat?). Well here are the top five ways to tell YOUR DOG is no super star. Sylvia.

#5. Always misses the fire hydrant.

#4. Has no idea what w-a-l-k spells.

#3. Goes outside to do his business and gets all distracted by the shiny blades of grass.

#2. Every time he finally catches and bites his tale he gets distracted by a shooting pain coming from the rear.

#1. You throw a stick – he comes back 35 minutes later, in a cab!

 

The signs that you are a new dog owner

October 28, 2009 Top Five No comments

I became a dog owner over the weekend. We welcomed a beautiful shitzu Pomeranian husky lab bejon cross named Glen into our home. As a new dog owner you can’t help but do some things that I’m sure other dog owners must grin at. Mike top five signs you’re a new dog owner.
#5. You’re still make ‘the face’ when you pickup a puppy nugget in a Save On bag.
#4. Excusing yourself to the bathroom at work involves the words ‘wee wee’ or ‘tinky tinky time’.
#3. Your Jingle Cats Christmas Cd isn’t as fun to listen to anymore.
#2. This weekend you watched Snow Dogs, Iron Will, Eight Below and Balto.
#1. You are sleep deprived, can’t get the smell of doggie treats out of your nose, you couldn’t tie your shoes (no laces) and you have a ridiculous grin on your face.

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I don’t know if I’ve mentioned my dog Bryan before but he’s a Shitzu-poodle-husky-lab-frese cross (shit-poo-sky-freese). Mike’s top five best things about being my dog.
#5. You get your own web site.
#4. You get all the brussel sprouts you want if you sit under my chair at dinner.
#3. Unlimited walks on the Wii fit.
#2. There’s always someone up at 4am to let you outside.
#1. The dog house made up of old Tim Horton’s coffee cups and Tim Bit boxes – priceless!