Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is coming up on Sunday, so here are some things that mom really wants for Mother’s Day. Mike’s top five things mom really wants for Mother’s Day.

#5. To eat an entire meal without the discussion of human bodily functions at the table.

#4. Go shopping at the mall without the “why is this person my mother” look.

#3. At least five minutes in the bathroom without someone knocking on the door because they can’t find something.

#2. Not the entire Die Hard series on Blue Ray, not a kettle, not a good sturdy shovel (unless you want to wear it).

#1. I believe the correct formula is; hours of labour multiplied by years of service, expressed in dollars (rounded up).

More on Mother’s Day here…

My Mother taught me well

Just in time for Mother’s Day… I’m not sure where this came from, but it sure is right-on.

The top five things my mother taught me…

#5. My mother taught me logic. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

#4. My mother taught me irony. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

#3. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

#2. My mother taught me about contortion-ism. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

#1. My mother taught me religion. “You better pray that stain comes out of the carpet.”

#5. You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you have spilled
your guts to a telemarketer.

#4. Spit is your number one cleaning agent (and hair gel).

#3. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.

#3a.You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

#2. You cling to high moral ground when it comes to your kids threatening each other with toy weapons; however you would be willing to look the other way when it comes to Caillou (that kid is ___ whiner!!!).

#1. You have hidden in the bathroom in your own house.

More here…

Some Mothers know how to do it

Mike’s top five things mom probably doesn’t really want for Mother’s Day.

#5. Breakfast in bed. Unless you’re planning on doing ALL the dishes and putting everything away, cold food on a tray is not a treat.

#4. “Parenting made easy” from Lohan – Spears publishing.

#3. The “Wine Bra”. I know it seeeems like a great idea and Dad really likes his beer hat, but ..

#2. “If she liked the Snuggie, she’ll love the Snay-pron (Snuggie apron combo), right?” No!

#1. This poem:
Today is your special day. It has arrived.
Instead of dinner, let’s watch the Flyers in game five.

It’s Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday. They did a survey of a few moms to find out what they’d really like for Mother’s Day. Mike’s top five things mom really wants for Mother’s Day.
#5. To eat an entire meal without the discussion of human bodily functions at the table.
#4. Go shopping at the mall with her daughter or son without the “why is this person my mother” attitude.
#3. At least five minutes in the bathroom without someone knocking on the door because they can’t find something.
#2. Not the entire Die Hard series on Blue Ray, not a kettle, not a good sturdy shovel (unless you want to wear it).
#1. I believe the correct formula is, hours of labour, times years of service, expressed in dollars.

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Mike’s top five things mom probably doesn’t really want for Mother’s Day.
#5. Breakfast in bed. Unless you’re planning on doing ALL the dishes and putting everything away, cold food on a tray is not a treat.
#4. “Parenting made easy” from Lohan – Spears publishing.
#3. The “Wine Bra”. I know it seeeems like a great idea and Dad really likes his beer hat, but ..
#2. “If she liked the Snuggie, she’ll love the Snay-pron (Shuggie apron combo), right?” No!
#1. This poem:
Today is your special day. It has arrived.
Instead of dinner, let’s watch the Canucks and Hawks in game five.