The PG Shih Tzu
Spring is here! You can tell because it snows in the morning, melts in the afternoon and it stays bright outside til after six now! Mike’s top five other signs it’s spring in Prince George!
#6. 3cm of snow on the ground this morning. :/
Mike’s top five signs it’s spring in Prince George!
#5. Pothole dodging has transformed 5th Ave into BC’s longest automobile slalom course (a demonstration sport at the Canada Winter Games in 2015?).
#4. Six months of Shih Tzu nuggets in the backyard, even more overpowering than that smell coming from the mill.
#3. Hockey is done. Just waiting for spring hockey to start before hockey school gets underway.
#2. You go to Canadian Tire looking for a snow blower and all you see is patio furniture and lawn mowers.
#1. Probably only three or four major snow storms left before June!
I heard that Mr. PG should be back up and in his new spot by the end of the month. Apparently he’s getting a bit of a makeover. Top five things they’re really doing with Mr PG.
#5. They’re taking him up in a balloon 24 miles then dropping him – - to see if he can break that 833 mph record free fall.
#4. Secretly installing ICBC’s largest red-light intersection camera in his head.
#3. Trying to find a giant “Sanitized for your protection” strip to fit across his head.
#2. Packing him up in smaller pieces so they can take him as carry-on luggage when they go to China.
#1. They’re really hoping he wins The River’s Diva Den contest, otherwise it’s just sandpaper and paint for the old boy.
The HUGE river float is on for this weekend, down the Nechako. Mike’s top five tips if you’re taking part in the float (Top 5 tips for floaters).
#5. Though not necessary, it’s nice to have your Pleasure Craft Operator card mounted somewhere in the wheel house.
#4. Be sure to get off BEFORE Quesnel.
#3. If you encounter a 19 foot sturgeon, look over at the others and say “we’re gonna need a bigger boat”.
#2. Keep in mind, if you hit an iceberg and find yourself looking into the eyes of Kate Winslet. She will let go (I saw the movie).
#1. Remember when buying a floatation device you should be looking for something that is more “water proof” than “water resistant”.
#1a. Remember to bring a stash of O’Henry bars with you. Nothing says floater like an unwrapped O’Henry!
Top five ways to tell we had a hot and sunny weekend in Prince George.
#5. Everyone’s finger nails are cut short and scrubbed red, trying to get all that top soil out from under them.
#4. Everybody is squinting in their grad photos.
#3. You’re really well tanned (neck up and elbows out).
#2. You started regretting your “do I get a fishing boat or a snow-blower?” decision from last winter.
#1. The Foothills boulevard dandelion farm is in full bloom!
Hey look, it’s May! Top five things May means in Prince George.
#5. May snow, may not snow (‘course that’s June too!)
#4. Once again, another Nation Disc Jockey Day goes by without it being declared a National Holiday.
#3. You start getting calls from that Electronics store that had that Don’t Pay Til May Event last year.
#2. Your favourite hockey team, once again, is off the ice before the ice is off the lake.
#1. Radio announcers switch to seasonally correct: Neon shorts with black dress socks and sandals!
#1a. We’ve been out of it long enough – we’re now technically closer to next Cougar season, than the last Cougar season.
The city-wide clean up is on Sunday. They were looking for suggestions for a theme for this year’s clean-up, but they didn’t use any of my suggestions (I wonder why).
Mike’s top five not-used theme suggestions for this year’s clean-up.
#5. Let someone else do it.
#4. It’ll probably just blow away.
#3. Hey, look at all these Canuck car flags!
#2. It’s probably someones job to pick that up and I certainly wouldn’t want to be responsible for someone losing their job because there’s nothing for them to pick up.
#1. Don’t touch that, you don’t know where it’s been!
The PG Shih Tzu
The city of Prince George is going to hire two people to go door-to-door checking to see if dog owners have a license.
Positions have been posted for two part time dog license canvassers. The city hopes to increase revenue from licensing by identifying dog owners who are not licensing their pet. – CKPG News
First of all this doesn’t make any sense as a revenue generator.Let’s say…
- The City will pay it’s “canvassers” $17/hr each.
- The average dog license fee is $22.00 to $27.50.
- Each canvasser will have to sell at least one license every hour just to make any money at all.
- If they do manage to sell one license per hour (which would be very difficult for anyone selling anything door-to-door), the City would turn a tidy profit of maybe $7 (minus the fuel, the benefits and the admin).
- This is a “revenue stream”?
Top five ways to spot an unlicensed dog.
#5. He doesn’t have a little “L” or an “N” in the window of his doghouse.
#4. When asked for his license, he starts acting all aloof and pretends to be a cat.
#3. When confronted by a bylaw official, pretends he doesn’t speak English.
#2. Driving home from the vet, you get pulled over by the police and he asks you to quickly change seats with him.
#1. You ask if he wants to go for a W-A-L-K and he says he’d rather D-R-I-V-E.
Just any parking meter, Anywheresville.
Once again the City is looking at downtown parking. Should they bring back parking meters or step up enforcement of the current parking restrictions?
I have some other suggestions for keeping traffic moving downtown. Mike’s top five other ways to control downtown parking.
#5. Offer valet style parking. You pull up to a store – a city councilor comes out and drives your car to the Petro Can for a quick wash and vacuum – then they return your vehicle with a full tank of gas.
#4. Have bylaw police pretending to put tickets on cars.
#3. Park too long – someone steals your stereo (this parking control system is already in use in some neighborhoods).
#2. Mimes. Hire mimes to patrol the area – moving cars along with huge windstorms.
#1. Make gas really expensive so none of us can afford to drive anywhere.
It got pretty warm yesterday and I noticed a lot of new puddles and slushy spots on our streets and sidewalks. Top five things to consider when attempting to navigate our slushy streets and sidewalks.
#5. The way an innocent enough looking puddle can hide a four-foot jagged pothole.
#4. That slow-motion slip and step into an unbelievably cold puddle and the half frozen pant leg that follows.
#3. Temporarily loosing your bearings after being sprayed with slush by a passing car and then inadvertently waving to the driver with the wrong finger.
#2. Realizing, too late, just how much gravity and momentum can mess with your whole day.
#1. Being prepared for that two-sailing wait at the big pothole on Domano.
From the Prince George Citizen circa 1990
Today marks 26 years in Prince George for me. Here are the top five things I’ve noticed about Prince George that haven’t changed over the last 26 years.
#5. Like everyone else who came here for “two years”, I’m still here.
#4. Pot holes and the constant smell of wet dog, sulfur and melting poop (who wouldn’t love it here!?)
#3. Pat Bell’s hair style hasn’t changed.
#2. At least twice a year you’re helping a neighbor get his snow blower off his roof.
#1a. In two weeks everyone will be dancing to Abba and The Bee Gees at CN Centre. (Check it out!)
#1b. Co-hosts still flee after just a year. Hmm… I can’t imagine why. Is it me?