Mike's top five

Yesterday was Mother's Day. How can you tell if mom was happy with her day? Top five ways to tell mom wasn't too happy with Mother's Day.
#5. This mornings coffee has more than a slight hint of nutmeg.
#4. Usual pressed shirt replaced with a slightly damp sweater that smells like the dog.
#3. Instead of lunches for the kids – brown paper bags full of poop.
#2. Usual quiet ride to school is replaced with hysterical, uber white-knuckle, "Grand theft Auto 4" level-ten, type ride.
#1. Before serving dinner tonight – mom reenacts a scene from the movie 300. Wearing a Spartan warrior costume – she shouts “tonight we dine in Quesnel”!