Author: Mike Benny

Ways to Celebrate Earth Day

Earth Day 2017

703977_10151254730923119_86380795_o If you are looking for new and “different” ways to celebrate Earth Day, here are some suggestions…

#5. Make clever gifts for each other using only materials that are found on Earth like, gold, silver, chocolate, rubber, wood, plastic, mercury, bacon, ducks, etc…

#4. Throw a big party for Earth but don’t invite Megatron, Loki or any Romulans. Do invite Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Steve Buscemi.

#3. Calculate your Carbon Footprint and then make it you Facebook status for the day! (Example: Mine is 19.9 metric tons)

#2. Watch the movie 2012, but shut it off right before the global cataclysm.

#2a. Show compassion for faux-planets like Pluto, but never let them forget you got your own day!

#1. Use less energy by avoiding unnecessary switching of radio channels.

Happy Earth Day. I hope we win Planet of The Year again this year!

More on Earth Day here…

 

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Mike’s Impossible Question – April 2017


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The longest one of these ever recorded lasted (2 ½ days) 58 hours, 35 minutes and 58 seconds.

ANSWER: A kiss [source].

The Rules

  • The kiss must be continuous and the lips must be touching at all times. If the lips part – the couple are immediately disqualified.
  • Contestants must be over the age of consent in the country the event is being held.
  • The couple must be awake at all times.
  • The contestants must stand during the attempt and cannot be propped together by any aids, such as pillows, cushions or people.
  • No rest breaks are allowed.
  • Incontinence pads or adult nappies/diapers are not allowed.
  • Couples must not leave the venue during their attempt.

IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Where is the best place to suffer sudden cardiac arrest (based on the availability of equipment and training).

ANSWER: A casino.

[Source] (In The)… New England Journal of Medicine paper from 2000, researchers reported improved patient outcomes thanks to Las Vegas security officers trained to use AEDs. When the first defibrillation was administered within three minutes of a witnessed collapse, the survival rate was nearly 75%. According to ER doctor Bryan Bledsoe in a 2006 Wall Street Journal story on these recent changes in the Las Vegas Strip, “The safest place in America to suffer sudden cardiac arrest is a casino.”


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: In 1998 there were almost 10,000 of these on Earth, now there are over 3.5-billion.

ANSWER: Google searches per day [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The happiest people are people that ___ years old and ___ years old.

ANSWER: A study shows our happiness levels peak at 23 yrs and 69 yrs [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: This very well known company uses no signage, disguises it’s warehouses and uses unmarked trucks for security reasons.

ANSWER: Netflix [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Most people think this is “a figment of your imagination”, but 68% of people say they have experienced it.

ANSWER: Phantom Vibration Syndrome – The feeling that your phone is vibrating when it’s not. [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Only 4.3% of us do this at work.

ANSWER: Test positive for drugs [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: A study done a few years ago (2010) found that just the sight of this can help a man feel more comfortable and relaxed.

ANSWER: Meat. Just the sight of meat can make a man more relaxed [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: This part of a woman usually gets smaller during pregnancy.

ANSWER:
Her brain [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: In a new survey, 18% of people said they would give up this for the year if it meant they didn’t have to pay taxes.

ANSWER: WiFi [source].

What would you do to get out of paying taxes…
• 18% are willing to go without WiFi for one year
• 13% are willing to gain 20 pounds
• 11% are willing to have their web browsing history made public
• 5% are willing to smell like a skunk for six months


More here…

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Where did April Fool’s Day come from?

cropped-mike-benny-face.jpg

Ever wonder where April Fool’s Day came from?

The story goes like this…

Back in the day, in France in 1582, Pope Gregory introduces the Gregorian Calendar…

This leads to New Year’s celebrations being moved from April 1st to January 1st.

Some people continued to celebrate the New Year on April 1st – they were known as “April Fools”.

Soon, people started inviting “April Fools” to non-existent parties at the end of March and that morphed into the pranks we see today.

So if you want to get back to the original spirit of April Fool’s Day, invite someone to a fake new years eve party!

…of course this could all be a big joke 😉

Looking for some safe but fun pranks? Right here!

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Problems with cycling in Prince George

I sure am seeing a lot more cyclists on the road lately. Here are the top five problems with cycling in Prince George.

5. Keeping two double-doubles and a single-single in the little basket without getting the Timbits wet.

4. Potholes.

3. Deciding between hitting the icy patch or risking the puddle of indeterminate depth.

2. That wet strip of puddle water up the back of your suit!

1. People driving their cars, looking enviously, as you text and talk on your cell all the way to work!

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Mike’s Impossible Question – March 2017


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Last year 13,500,000 of these were sold – making this the #1 selling one of these.

ANSWER: Turbo Tax. The #1 selling computer software program in North America [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: If you ran very quickly for 355 days, you would almost be here.

ANSWER: The moon. To cover the distance to the moon, you would have to run, continuously for 356 days [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: If you’re average, you can probably only do this for about 8 or 9 seconds.

ANSWER: Pay attention (the average attention span is 8.5 seconds) [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: When this thing starts out, it’s barely visible to the human eye. It’s home is only about 0.02 ft². The largest one of these can get to be almost 3 times the size of it’s home.

ANSWER: Ear hair [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The oldest one of these lasted 353 months (29.4 years).

ANSWER: A dog (The world’s oldest dog, an Australian cattle hound named Bluey – in human years) [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Not everyone does this (only about 49 million people in the US – 12 million in Canada), but those that do, spend about $243 a year doing it.

ANSWER: Online dating [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: If you want to be friends with a 4 yr old, having this in common with them will put you way ahead of the pack.

ANSWER: Knowing the same songs [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: An average woman will do this about 7,718 times in her lifetime.

Answer: Shave [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: On average we each pay about $35 for this (per year).

Answer: Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day.


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: 47% of people in Sweden do this (27% of people in Canada do it).

Answer: They live alone [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: 38% of women say they usually invite this person to a party they’re throwing.

Answer: Hair stylist [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: In 2010, 23.2% (an all-time high) of all the songs on the Billboard Hot 100 shared a common characteristic.

Answer: A one word title [source].






IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: This thing renews itself about 6 times a year (every 64 days).

Answer: Your eyebrows [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: You are way more likely to be attacked by this animal than by a bear or a wolf (combined).

Answer: Moose [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Even though we know we’re not supposed to do this, 10% of adults say they’ve done this anyway.

Answer: Chilled red wine (or put ice in red wine).


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Only about 44% of 8-18 yr olds think they can do this.

Answer: Tell the difference between fake news and real news [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Who is this?
Middle name: Christopher
Height: 5’8
Weight: 181 lbs
Pants: 36×32 or 36×30
Show size: 7.5
Sign: Aquarius

Answer: Ed Sheeran[source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: A new study shows that women deal with stress by eating and men deal with stress by THIS.

Answer: Watching porn [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: 23% of people believe this is the best way to let someone know you’re “interested” in them romantically.

Answer: Let them know through a mutual friend [source].






IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The average woman does THIS 150 times a year; average men about 10 times.

Answer: Check their horoscope [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: 15% of iPhone users do this.

Answer: Use a phone with a broken screen.


More here…

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Black Bean Chicken Chili Recipe

This is a simple – quick to make – chili recipe using chicken and black beans (adapted from the original “Chicken and Black Bean Chili” recipe from Save On Foods). The original recipe serves six, my adaptation serves 10 or more.  Also in my version, I add fresh mushrooms, kidney beans and a lot more tomato.

Ingredients

Meats and Veggies:

  • 4 cubed chicken breasts (cut into bite-size pieces)
  • 1 hand-full of diced mushrooms (1.5 cups)
  • 1 diced large onion
  • 1 diced large carrot
  • 2 diced celery stalk
  • 4 garlic gloves, minced

Spices:

Cans (12 oz or 355 ml.):

Also:

  • Salt and pepper for seasoning the chicken
  • 4 tbsp of cooking oil for cooking the chicken pieces

Optional:

  • Sour Cream and Cilantro for garnish
  • Beer and biscuits for sides

Get cooking!

Steps:

  • Season the chicken (with salt and pepper) and then cut the chicken into small “bite size” pieces.
  • In a large soup pot (or sauce pan) cook the chicken in 3 tbsp of cooking oil.
  • Remove chicken when it’s cooked and set aside.
  • Add veggies (onion, carrot, celery), mushrooms, garlic and spices to the same pan and cook for about 10 minutes (stir as it cooks).
  • Add the canned tomatoes and bring to a boil, then simmer (simmer for about 20 minutes).
  • Add the beans and cooked chicken and simmer for an additional 10-15 minutes.
  • Taste.
  • The beans might need more time.
  • Taste.
  • Season.
  • Taste.
  • Serve.

Serve with:

  • More hot sauce.
  • Sour cream on the side.
  • Cilantro garnish.
  • Corn bread biscuits or corn bread muffins.
  • Beer.

Did this recipe work for you? Comment below and let me know.

ps/ if you like black beans, check-out my Simple Black Bean Soup recipe here.

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St. Patrick’s Day Jokes!

St. Patrick’s death occurred on either March 8th or 9th in 461 A.D. Church officials weren’t sure so they added them together and made it the 17th. Good thing it wasn’t March 28th or 29th…


Mike’s Top Five Worst St. Patrick’s Day Jokes.

Lucky Charms
Lucky Charms – photo taken by Evan-Amos

#5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s day!

#4. Why did the leprechaun buy TWO lottery tickets? Dublin his odds!

#3. Why would you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn’t press your luck.

#2. Why are leprechauns always asking for money? Because they’re always a little short before payday.

#1. Where does a leprechaun buy his suits? From a four leaf clothier.


Top Five Ways To Get in Trouble on St Patrick’s Day.

#5. Eat haggis, drink scotch and insist Scotland and Ireland are the same thing.

#4. Wear a button that says “Kiss me, I’m Iris”.

#3. Instead of wearing something green, wear something until it’s green.

#2. Go door to door – demanding candy.

#1. Re-introduce snakes to the island.


Ways to tell your neighbor might be a Leprechaun

#5. Always tries to cover up his Irish accent by saying things like “G’day Mate..”.

#4. Rainbow always seems to end in his backyard.

#3. Spends his summers planting clover along foothills blvd…

#2. Always wears green and he isn’t even from Saskatchewan.

#1. Always thinks everyone is after his Lucky Charms!

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NASA finds seven life-supporting planets only 40 light-years away

Trappist_1_system
Only a drawing, not an actual photograph of the Trappist-1 system. Drawing from: CNN Online

The headline: NASA finds seven life-supporting planets only 40 light-years away.

fyi: These seven planets are orbiting the dwarf star Trappist-1 and are very, very far awayyyy.

Things to know before you book your flight…

  1. These planets are at least 40 light-years away. So, very far away. Note: 1 Light Year = 9.5 trillion kilometers.
  2. Though they may be capable of supporting a basic life system, they may not have high-speed and may still be using dial-up.
  3. Because Trappist-1 is a dwarf star, you would receive 200 times less light than you do from our current Sun. So, pre-tanning: not necessary.
  4. Trappist-1 is quite a bit younger than our Sun and will likely continue for another trillion years after our Sun fades.
  5. If on your journey, you see Megatron, Loki and a bunch of Romulans, just mind your own business and don’t get involved.
  6. Did we mention, it’s very far awayyyy?!
Yes, very, very far awayyyy.
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Mike’s Impossible Question – February 2017


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The biggest one of these is about 50 feet wide and weighs over 6,000 pounds (you’ll probably see one today).

ANSWER: Pancake!

The largest pancake was created in Rochdale, Manchester, UK in 1994, by the Co-Operative Union, Ltd. Measuring 15.01 m (49 ft 3 in) in diameter and 2.5 cm (1 in) thick, the pancake weighed 3 tonnes (6,614 lb), and took more than just a frying pan to flip over!


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: A new study show that cats may actually be better than dogs at doing this.

ANSWER: Sniffing out bombs and explosive materials.


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: This emotion is really quite new (only a few thousands of years old), compared to anger and fear, which are millions of years old.

ANSWER: Disgust [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Doing THIS is the equivalent to half an hour on a stationary bicycle.

ANSWER: Laughing 200 times is equivalent to 30 minutes of exercise on a stationary bicycle [source].

Note: The average child laughs 300 to 500 times a day while the average adult laughs only about 15 times a day [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: According to a new study, men experience an IQ dip of 15 points while doing this.

ANSWER: Men experience an IQ dip of 15 points while multitasking, while women experience a five-point drop in IQ [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The average adult (with a post secondary education) will spend a total of 18 months doing this.

ANSWER: Working at their first job.


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The average price for one of these is $35,330.

ANSWER: A wedding [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: Where does this seemingly random number come from – 24,301,911?

Answer: Donald J. Trump’s Twitter followers (as of Feb 9 2017).


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: At about 11:15 this morning you’ll likely be doing THIS for the first time today.

Answer: Cracking a smile on a Monday morning [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: If we think we’re getting a cold or flu, 8% of us won’t do this.

Answer: Take any medication [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: To make sure THIS won’t happen, divide the number of people involved by 3.

Answer: To avoid having someone in a group photo having their eyes closed, divide the number of people in the photo by 3 and take that many photos [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: 70% of us would not bend down to pick up one of these.

Answer: A penny (15% wouldn’t pick up a dollar) [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: The percentage of homes that have at least one of these is now over 50% (51%).

Answer: A game console [source].


IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: According to scientists, the optimal flow of THIS is 147.6 feet (45 meters) per hour.

Answer: Ketchup [source].





IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: 66% of people heading south to escape winter, say THIS can totally ruin their vacation.

Answer: Thoughts of family back home (don’t call home!)


More here…

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Top five indications it is almost March

There are some obvious indications that March is almost here and there are some not so obvious indications — Mike’s top five less than obvious indications that it’s almost March.
#5. The squirrel in my backyard seems to be even more active than Jay Z, George Clooney, Mel Gibson and Rod Stewart right now!
#4. I notice I have a unique combination of soccer cleats, court shoes AND hockey skates in the back of the van.
#3. After meeting with the RRSP guy, I realize I’ve been mathematically eliminated from retirement. Again!
#2. Two cold sores and a chipped tooth later – I realizing not all cups are roll up the rim cups.
#1. Playing connect the dots with the rock chips on my windshield I can now create an entire stick-people family.

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