Category: Top Five

Ways to make Halloween less scary

Costume available here.
Last year it was killer clowns, this year it’s IT clowns… Every year as Halloween approaches people start talking about how Halloween is getting too scary, particularly for young kids. So here are some suggestions for making Halloween less scary (for young kids).

#5. Clowns must only call you into the sewer if there really is cool stuff down there.

#4. All ghosts must wear a sign stating whether they are real or pretend ghosts.

#3. ‘Bobbing for apples’ will replaced with ‘selecting apple slices from a shallow bowl of bottled water’.

#2. All fake blood must be green so it doesn’t look real (unless it’s from an alien creature..).

#1. Remember the true spirit of Halloween is not in scaring children, it’s in being up to your armpits in Reese’s peanut butter cups!!

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Things you should know about napping

Thirty-four percent of us have napped in the last 24 hours.

A survey of 1,488 adults revealed that, men are more likely to nap than women. Napping for just 10 minutes can enhance your alertness, mood, and mental performance.

Here are Mike’s top five things you should know about napping.

#5. If it’s under an hour it’s a nap, over an hour it’s sleep.
#4. If you awake from one of your “naps” and you’re no longer employed – maybe it wasn’t technically a “nap” – more a “passing out”.
#3. Your pants must remain on the entire time (particularly important if you’re napping at work).
#2. “Nodding off in the council chamber” is NOT to be used as a euphemism for anything other than sleeping during city council meetings.
#1. If you wake up from your nap with one of the kids screaming “watch out dad!!” – it could be time to pull over to the side of the road.

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Signs you might be too Canadian

– You know the French words for “trans fat”, “crunch” and “cereal”.

captaincrunch

– You have twin boys named Wayne and Gordie.

From NHL.COM
From NHL.COM

– You substitute beer for water when cooking.

cupcakesandcutlery.com
cupcakesandcutlery.com

– You’ve purposefully said ‘Eh’ at the end of a sentence, pretending to pretend that you’re a Canadian.

rcinet.ca
rcinet.ca

– You can’t walk past a pile of flat rocks without making an inukshuk!

innnnukshuk

– You’re not sure if you like him, but you would buy him a beer.

harperpic

– Not sure who this is, but thanks to her, we get a long weekend in May!

Queen-Victoria
Thank you for the day off Victoria!

– You dismiss all beers under 6% as “for children and the elderly.

Canadian

Happy Canada Day!

From StandingOnGuard.com, here are the 92 signs you might be too Canadian

I’ve taken a few liberties, shorten the list and added a few of my own… 😉

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Juliette is Flying The Coop!

Just in case you missed the news on Thursday…

PRINCE GEORGE (June 2, 2017): Juliette Nunes, popular mid-day radio host (and current, acting morning show co-host) has just announced her plans to leave 101.3 The River. 🙁

Juliette has accepted a position with NOW! Radio in Edmonton (1023nowradio.com).

Juliette will stop paying provincial sales tax on June 24th and will start her new position at Edmonton’s #1 Radio Station on July 4th.

River Program Director, Ron Polillo released a statement late last night calling Juliette “one of the radio DJ’s here at The River” — “who’s energy and enthusiasm epitomize the acumen of an employee”.

Mike Benny, long time morning show host, said thru a spokesman that Juliette will be missed, “mostly because she’s quiet and doesn’t touch my stuff”.

Rick Kelly expressed relief at not having to deal with Juliette’s parking critiques for much longer.

Jess Williams made a sad face. 🙁

Juliette says, “over the last two years I have grown as a community member, a radio host and have also grown a seventh toe”. – 1013TheRiver.com

For reals:

  • Juliette will be missed by her audience, the many community organizations she works with and all of us here at JPBG.
  • Her last day on The River is June 24th.
  • Her first day on NOW! is July 4th.
  • The River is now looking for it’s next mid-day host.

The Top Five Things I Have Learned From Juliette Over The Last Two Years…

#5. Never eat a burrito on the way to teach your hot yoga class.
#4. You can make it to your 25 birthday without knowing what a cattle guard is (and still get a job in Alberta).
#3. You don’t have to be a cat hording, recluse to do a morning show with Me.
#2. An adult licensed driver can actually drive all the way to Quesnel, thinking they’re on their way to Edmonton.
#1. How to tell the difference between pie sweats and cake sweats!

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Ways to Celebrate Earth Day

Earth Day 2017

703977_10151254730923119_86380795_o If you are looking for new and “different” ways to celebrate Earth Day, here are some suggestions…

#5. Make clever gifts for each other using only materials that are found on Earth like, gold, silver, chocolate, rubber, wood, plastic, mercury, bacon, ducks, etc…

#4. Throw a big party for Earth but don’t invite Megatron, Loki or any Romulans. Do invite Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Steve Buscemi.

#3. Calculate your Carbon Footprint and then make it you Facebook status for the day! (Example: Mine is 19.9 metric tons)

#2. Watch the movie 2012, but shut it off right before the global cataclysm.

#2a. Show compassion for faux-planets like Pluto, but never let them forget you got your own day!

#1. Use less energy by avoiding unnecessary switching of radio channels.

Happy Earth Day. I hope we win Planet of The Year again this year!

More on Earth Day here…

 

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Problems with cycling in Prince George

I sure am seeing a lot more cyclists on the road lately. Here are the top five problems with cycling in Prince George.

5. Keeping two double-doubles and a single-single in the little basket without getting the Timbits wet.

4. Potholes.

3. Deciding between hitting the icy patch or risking the puddle of indeterminate depth.

2. That wet strip of puddle water up the back of your suit!

1. People driving their cars, looking enviously, as you text and talk on your cell all the way to work!

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