Category: Top Five

Juliette is Flying The Coop!

Just in case you missed the news on Thursday…

PRINCE GEORGE (June 2, 2017): Juliette Nunes, popular mid-day radio host (and current, acting morning show co-host) has just announced her plans to leave 101.3 The River. 🙁

Juliette has accepted a position with NOW! Radio in Edmonton (1023nowradio.com).

Juliette will stop paying provincial sales tax on June 24th and will start her new position at Edmonton’s #1 Radio Station on July 4th.

River Program Director, Ron Polillo released a statement late last night calling Juliette “one of the radio DJ’s here at The River” — “who’s energy and enthusiasm epitomize the acumen of an employee”.

Mike Benny, long time morning show host, said thru a spokesman that Juliette will be missed, “mostly because she’s quiet and doesn’t touch my stuff”.

Rick Kelly expressed relief at not having to deal with Juliette’s parking critiques for much longer.

Jess Williams made a sad face. 🙁

Juliette says, “over the last two years I have grown as a community member, a radio host and have also grown a seventh toe”. – 1013TheRiver.com

For reals:

  • Juliette will be missed by her audience, the many community organizations she works with and all of us here at JPBG.
  • Her last day on The River is June 24th.
  • Her first day on NOW! is July 4th.
  • The River is now looking for it’s next mid-day host.

The Top Five Things I Have Learned From Juliette Over The Last Two Years…

#5. Never eat a burrito on the way to teach your hot yoga class.
#4. You can make it to your 25 birthday without knowing what a cattle guard is (and still get a job in Alberta).
#3. You don’t have to be a cat hording, recluse to do a morning show with Me.
#2. An adult licensed driver can actually drive all the way to Quesnel, thinking they’re on their way to Edmonton.
#1. How to tell the difference between pie sweats and cake sweats!

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Ways to Celebrate Earth Day

Earth Day 2017

703977_10151254730923119_86380795_o If you are looking for new and “different” ways to celebrate Earth Day, here are some suggestions…

#5. Make clever gifts for each other using only materials that are found on Earth like, gold, silver, chocolate, rubber, wood, plastic, mercury, bacon, ducks, etc…

#4. Throw a big party for Earth but don’t invite Megatron, Loki or any Romulans. Do invite Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Steve Buscemi.

#3. Calculate your Carbon Footprint and then make it you Facebook status for the day! (Example: Mine is 19.9 metric tons)

#2. Watch the movie 2012, but shut it off right before the global cataclysm.

#2a. Show compassion for faux-planets like Pluto, but never let them forget you got your own day!

#1. Use less energy by avoiding unnecessary switching of radio channels.

Happy Earth Day. I hope we win Planet of The Year again this year!

More on Earth Day here…

 

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Problems with cycling in Prince George

I sure am seeing a lot more cyclists on the road lately. Here are the top five problems with cycling in Prince George.

5. Keeping two double-doubles and a single-single in the little basket without getting the Timbits wet.

4. Potholes.

3. Deciding between hitting the icy patch or risking the puddle of indeterminate depth.

2. That wet strip of puddle water up the back of your suit!

1. People driving their cars, looking enviously, as you text and talk on your cell all the way to work!

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St. Patrick’s Day Jokes!

St. Patrick’s death occurred on either March 8th or 9th in 461 A.D. Church officials weren’t sure so they added them together and made it the 17th. Good thing it wasn’t March 28th or 29th…


Mike’s Top Five Worst St. Patrick’s Day Jokes.

Lucky Charms
Lucky Charms – photo taken by Evan-Amos

#5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s day!

#4. Why did the leprechaun buy TWO lottery tickets? Dublin his odds!

#3. Why would you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn’t press your luck.

#2. Why are leprechauns always asking for money? Because they’re always a little short before payday.

#1. Where does a leprechaun buy his suits? From a four leaf clothier.


Top Five Ways To Get in Trouble on St Patrick’s Day.

#5. Eat haggis, drink scotch and insist Scotland and Ireland are the same thing.

#4. Wear a button that says “Kiss me, I’m Iris”.

#3. Instead of wearing something green, wear something until it’s green.

#2. Go door to door – demanding candy.

#1. Re-introduce snakes to the island.


Ways to tell your neighbor might be a Leprechaun

#5. Always tries to cover up his Irish accent by saying things like “G’day Mate..”.

#4. Rainbow always seems to end in his backyard.

#3. Spends his summers planting clover along foothills blvd…

#2. Always wears green and he isn’t even from Saskatchewan.

#1. Always thinks everyone is after his Lucky Charms!

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NASA finds seven life-supporting planets only 40 light-years away

Trappist_1_system
Only a drawing, not an actual photograph of the Trappist-1 system. Drawing from: CNN Online

The headline: NASA finds seven life-supporting planets only 40 light-years away.

fyi: These seven planets are orbiting the dwarf star Trappist-1 and are very, very far awayyyy.

Things to know before you book your flight…

  1. These planets are at least 40 light-years away. So, very far away. Note: 1 Light Year = 9.5 trillion kilometers.
  2. Though they may be capable of supporting a basic life system, they may not have high-speed and may still be using dial-up.
  3. Because Trappist-1 is a dwarf star, you would receive 200 times less light than you do from our current Sun. So, pre-tanning: not necessary.
  4. Trappist-1 is quite a bit younger than our Sun and will likely continue for another trillion years after our Sun fades.
  5. If on your journey, you see Megatron, Loki and a bunch of Romulans, just mind your own business and don’t get involved.
  6. Did we mention, it’s very far awayyyy?!
Yes, very, very far awayyyy.
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Top five indications it is almost March

There are some obvious indications that March is almost here and there are some not so obvious indications — Mike’s top five less than obvious indications that it’s almost March.
#5. The squirrel in my backyard seems to be even more active than Jay Z, George Clooney, Mel Gibson and Rod Stewart right now!
#4. I notice I have a unique combination of soccer cleats, court shoes AND hockey skates in the back of the van.
#3. After meeting with the RRSP guy, I realize I’ve been mathematically eliminated from retirement. Again!
#2. Two cold sores and a chipped tooth later – I realizing not all cups are roll up the rim cups.
#1. Playing connect the dots with the rock chips on my windshield I can now create an entire stick-people family.

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