Category: Top Five

Top five best tank movies

Taking a break from World of Tanks and looking for a great tank movie? Here are the top five best tank movies of all time.

#1. Fury (2014 – Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf)
Tanks featured: M4A3E8 Sherman, Tiger

#2. White Tiger (2014)
Tanks featured: T-34-85, Tiger

#3. Sahara (1943 – Humphry Bogart)
Tank featured: M3 Lee

There was also a 1995 version with Jim Belushi.

#4. The Beast of War (1988)
Tank featured: Soviet T-55

#5. The Battle of The Buldge (1965)
Tanks featured: Ridiculously, historically inaccurate tanks of all description. “American M47 Pattons represented German King Tiger tanks and M4 Shermans were represented by M24 Chaffees…

Did I miss any? Comment below…

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The top five things mom really wants for Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is coming up on Sunday, so here are some things that mom really wants for Mother’s Day. Mike’s top five things mom really wants for Mother’s Day.

#5. To eat an entire meal without the discussion of human bodily functions at the table.

#4. Go shopping at the mall without the “why is this person my mother” look.

#3. At least five minutes in the bathroom without someone knocking on the door because they can’t find something.

#2. Not the entire Die Hard series on Blue Ray, not a kettle, not a good sturdy shovel (unless you want to wear it).

#1. I believe the correct formula is; hours of labour multiplied by years of service, expressed in dollars (rounded up).

More on Mother’s Day here…


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Ways to celebrate Earth Day

Earth Day 2016 is on Friday April 22nd.

703977_10151254730923119_86380795_o If you are looking for new and “different” ways to celebrate Earth Day, here are some suggestions…

#5. Make clever gifts for each other using only materials that are found on Earth like, gold, silver, chocolate, rubber, wood, plastic, mercury, bacon, ducks, etc…

#4. Throw a big party for Earth but don’t invite Megatron, Loki or any Romulans. Do invite Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Steve Buscemi.

#3. Calculate your Carbon Footprint and then make it you Facebook status for the day! (Example: Mine is 19.9 metric tons)

#2. Watch the movie 2012, but shut it off right before the global cataclysm.

#2a. Show compassion for faux-planets like Pluto, but never let them forget you got your own day!

#1. Use less energy by avoiding unnecessary switching of radio channels.

Happy Earth Day. I hope we win Planet of The Year again this year!

More on Earth Day here…


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How to increase your chances of winning the lottery

Mike’s top five tips for increasing your chances of winning the lottery.

1. Play regularly. This will not increase your odds of winning a particular jackpot, but will increase the odds of you winning over your lifetime.
2. Play some numbers over 31. This won’t increase your odds of winning, but it will increase the amount you win. Most people consider dates their lucky numbers, so they hardly ever pick numbers higher than 31, so there will be fewer people to share your jackpot with.
3. Play as a group. Buying more tickets = more chances to win.
4. Some numbers really do come up more often than others – 7, 24, 28. BCLC actually makes this information available on their website.
5. For a statistical advantage buy your tickets Friday after work. Most winning tickets are purchased in the afternoon/evening on Friday.

Or Try this…

Want a guaranteed ONE MILLION dollar pay-off? If you simply invest the $10 a week you spend on lottery tickets and drop that $10 in the bank, you will have $1,000,000 in just 1,924 years.

(Some of this info was sourced from this article)

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Little-known ways to lose weight

Bathroom scale

Just about everyone I know is on some kind of weight loss kick for the new year – here’s some free help. Mike’s top five little-known ways to get your weight down…

#5. If you spend a third of the day jumping, you can cut your weight in by a third, because for a third of the day your weight is zero. This method is only helpful if you use the daily-averaging method of weight control.

#4. Try standing on your toes to decrease your Body Mass Index score at the Doctor’s office. Seriously… 3 inches can give you an extra 7 pounds of leeway.

#3. Only weigh yourself on the Moon. 130 pounds on Earth is 22 pounds on the Moon. (Avoid Jupiter… you would be 307 pounds).

#2. Try hanging out with really slender, good looking people. Wait. Wrong list.

#1. Try moving to a really cold place, with lots of snow to shovel, high gas prices that force you to walk everywhere AND ill kept streets that make walking a more challenging workout!

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Already broken New Year’s resolutions

Gen_topfiveStudies show that 59% of people have already broken their New Year’s resolutions by January 10th. I know I have. Here are my top five already broken New Year’s resolutions.

#5. No more using two letter words in Scrabble. (That one didn’t last long at all) My apologies to the organizers and contestants at the annual January 1st World Scrabble Show Down on Saturday.

#4. Reduce my caffeine consumption (ha haha ha ha hahaa haha ha).

#3. I will stop screaming “I won, I won!” every time I use the ATM (Hm, I made it to Monday).

#2. I will write more clever and intellectually stimulating top five lists (Fail).

#1. I will stop making up mediocre, easily attainable resolutions for myself (Fail).

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Top five best Christmas jokes of all time

Merry Christmas says the dog

Top five best Christmas jokes of allll time… Volume One!
#5. What’s the most popular Christmas wine? ‘I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’
#4. Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? He had low elf-esteem.
#3. What’s wrong with the way they teach the alphabet at the North Pole. No L!
#2. What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
#1. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.

Thank you Manwalksintoajoke…

Top five best Christmas jokes of all time… Volume two…
#5. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
#4. What happens if you eat too many Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-itis.

Thanks to Hannah…

#3. What do call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause!
#1. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!

Thanks to Squigly’s Jokes and Riddles…

Top five best Christmas jokes of allll time… Volume Threeeeee!
#5. Did you hear about the invisible Santa? You can’t see him, but you can feel his presents.
#4. What do you call Santa Claus when he’s almost late? The Saint Nick-of-time.
#3. What goes oh, oh, oh? Santa going backwards..
#1. Why does Santa only work one day a year? There’s a Clause in his contract!

One more! What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

By: Mike Benny

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Top Ten Techie Gifts For Under $50


Chromecast $45 … plugs into your tv so you can watch your phone on a big screen

Chromecast (audio) $45 … same, ‘cept for your music

Micro SD card $30 … add 32 gig storage to your phone [Amazon]

Mini speakers $29 … mini speakers that plug in to your phone or computer and charge via USB [Amazon]

Headphones (earbuds) $12 [Walmart]

USB charger (wall charger or car charger) $29 … everyone needs an extra [Best Buy]

Portable power bank $30 … charge it up and then use it to charge your phone on the go [Amazon]

Google Play card $25 / $50

Selfie stick $15 [Canadian Tire]

A domain name $15 … give them their own domain name and their own personalized email! [GoDaddy]

On the “No list”…

Phone case … too personal

Portable Bluetooth speakers … they are available for under $50, but they’re crappy unless you’re willing to spend well over $100

Did I miss any?

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Ways to increase voter turn out

Mike’s top five ways to increase voter turn out.

#5. Make them cheaper – 300 million to end up exactly where we were the day before, seems slightly ridiculous. Why not, the next federal election is 25% off!

#4. How about an election mascot? Election Ernie?! He could walk around handing out voters to suckers… I mean promises to suckers.

#3. It would be nice if they let you keep the little pencil after you vote.

#2. Why not jazz up the polling booths a bit? Instead of a card board folding wall, we could have a magical “cone of voting” lowered from the ceiling.

#1. How about everyone gets a cookie and some juice? It works at the blood donor clinic!

#1a. Instead of voting, voters get to wack the giant “Election 2015 Piniata” until a Prime Minister falls out.

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