Category: Top Five

It’s a Star Wars Valentine’s Day

jedi vdayIf you’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places, try a few of these powerful love-lines to reach the Jedi level of Romancery.

#5. Yoda one for me.
#5a. I love you with Maul my heart.
#4. I’ve been lookin’ for love in Alderaan places.
#4a. I find your lack of love disturbing.
#3. Our love will never Endor.
#3a. You R2 good for me.
#2. You’re the Obi-Won for me!
#2a. I love you. But you knew that.
#1. I’ve been Solo for too long.

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They’re just not that into the #SuperBowl

Ricky Ray
Go Eskimos!!

Not everyone is into the Super Bowl. Top five signs that someone is not really into the Super Bowl.

#5. Every time someone says the words “Super Bowl” they conjure up images of giant toilets and giggle to themselves.

#4. They awkwardly observe that if each touchdown is 7 points, they’re just like dog-year-points.

#3. They honestly think it has something to do with bowling.

#2. After the half-time show they get up from the couch, stretch, yawn and say “okay… so who’s up for that Gilmore Girls marathon on channel 21?”

#1. You shout “GO!”, they shout “Eskimos!”.

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Why you will not be able to keep your resolution

Gen_topfive

from 4 years ago…

Top five reasons why you may not be able to keep your New Year’s resolution this year.

#5. Those patches don’t stick very well.

#4. You’re just the President and you really don’t have that much power if Congress won’t support your ideas.

#3. Everyone else is making it difficult for you to do it and that’s why you can never do anything with your life.

#2. That pesky hobbit stole your ring and now Sméagol is really ticked at you.

#1. You forgot you made a resolution this year and have already done it twice.

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Opting out of Christmas?

opt-out-christmas
Would you like to avoid all the stress of Christmas gift buying this year? Why not opt-out?

Here are the top five benefits of opting out of Christmas.

#5. A chance to ignore all the crass commercialism and concentrate on the true meaning of mindless shopping and the endless worship of our possessions.

#4. Double-time-and-a-half if you go to work.

#3. January’s Mastercard bill should weigh a little less.

#2. Seven tons of plastic, cardboard and twisties won’t be sitting in your bin for three weeks, while you try to figure out when the next blue zone pick up will be.

#1. Pout, shout, cry and stay up as late as you want kids!


Seriously?

“Almost 80% of Canadians surveyed by RBC have gotten gifts they don’t like. So give something else: Give the gift of time. Instead of buying presents, go for brunch with your gang or go on an excursion with the family. If you want to give the gift of giving, consider charity: The Western Union Holiday Gifting Index says 87% of Canadian consumers would trade one of their holiday gifts to make someone else happy.  [Here’s the article…]”

 

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Are you too old for Trick-or-Treating this #Halloween?

Mike Benny costume. The Radio Whisperer meets The Dog Whisperer...
Mike Benny costume. The Radio Whisperer meets The Dog Whisperer…

I think anyone at any age can dress up and celebrate Halloween, but when it comes to actually going door-to-door and trick-or-treating, there are some signs that you might be too old for that…

You might be too old to trick-or-treat this year…

  • When someone drops a treat in your bag, you lose you balance and fall over.
  • You knock on the door and say “Trick or…..”.
  • You get other kids to chew your treats for you (or the dog), just to get them nice and soft.
  • You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
  • You actually remember when Halloween was called All Hallows Eve.
  • At every door, you stop and explain that your treats can’t contain aspartame, because it makes you really gassy.

More on Halloween here !

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Mike’s top five tips for floaters

wildwoodlandinn.wordpress.com
wildwoodlandinn.wordpress.com

If you’re contemplating a float down the Nechako this weekend, here are Mike’s top five tips for floaters…

#5. Though not necessary, it’s nice to have your Pleasure Craft Operator card mounted somewhere in the wheel house.

#4. Be sure to get off BEFORE Quesnel.

#3. If you encounter a 19 foot sturgeon, look over at the others and say “we’re gonna need a bigger boat”.

#2. Keep in mind, if you hit an iceberg and find yourself looking into the eyes of Kate Winslet. She will let go (I saw the movie).

#1. Remember when buying a floatation device you should be looking for something that is more “water proof” than “water resistant”.

#1a. Remember to bring a stash of O’Henry bars with you. Nothing says floater like an unwrapped O’Henry!

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