Tag: Canadian

The 244 people that represent Canada

The new group of MP’s we elected last week are quite a diverse lot..

-76 entrepreneurs or business people

-44 lawyers

-38 teachers

-29 politicians

-22 broadcasters

-20 farmers

-7 police officers

-4 military officers

-3 doctors

-1 astronaut

244 people to represent Canada and not one professional hockey player?!

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I just saved Canada 1 Billion Dollars!

I am not looking forward to paying for another federal election.

[Insert: slight exaggeration] In the last ten years we have had four federal elections that have cost taxpayers nearly one billion dollars.

[Insert: rhetorical question] Can you imagine the good that could be done with one billion dollars?

I’m not just whining. I have a solution.

How about each political party starts a fan page on Facebook and instead of voting we just go and “Like” that page. The political party with the most likes after two weeks, runs the country.

Afterward, the other parties, get to start a Twitter account and as soon as they get more than a million followers on Twitter, they get to be the official opposition.

Every two years all the parties have to close their Facebook and Twitter accounts and start over.

Potential savings to tax payers: ONE BILLION DOLLARS!

Sound good?

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Top five Flag Day activities

Today is Flag Day in Canada. The Canadian flag was approved for use on this date back in 1965.

Here are some suggestions for celebrating the day.

In the shower this morning, totally nail O’Canada including the French verse!

Go stand outside city hall and flap in the breeze.

Wave to someone.

Try standing on guard for thee.

Don’t do anything special and go to work just like it’s a regular day.

 

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How to Canadianize an iPad

The Apple iPad was released in the U.S. on the weekend. It won’t be available in Canada for another month. However that didn’t stop lots of Canadian geeks from heading to the U.S. over the weekend to buy one. I guess the one month delay is because they have to Canadianize the iPad before they can sell it here. Mike’s top five ways to Canadianize the iPad.
#5. Replace the words Zip Code, with Postal Code on the registration form.
#4. Re-do the keyboard layout and add an accent aigu.
#3. Make it so the iPad apologizes, even when it doesn’t do something wrong.
#2. Three words: cold weather package.
#1. Change the name from iPad to Eh! Pad.

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Good things about a recession in Canada

Scotiabank is forecasting a recession in Canada that they say could last deep into 2009. It’s not hard to see the bad side of things when there’s talk of a recession for the next year or so, but there is a positive side of a recession. Mike’s top five good things about a recession in Canada.

#5. You won’t have as much heavy money to carry around.

#4. A renewed hope for “the money tree”, Santa Claus and a Prime Minister who isn’t a nard.

#3. You and your family might get to spend more quality time with gramma and grampa, when you move into their basement. #2. Christmas is way too commercialized anyway..

#1. Not having a job might help take your mind off not having a car.

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Scotiabank is forecasting a recession in Canada. Here are some financial tips for getting thru the tough times from a radio DJ.

#5. Try not to elect a nard for Prime Minister.

#4. Always say “yes” to the extra.

#3. Always “super size”; even if you don’t really want to.

#2. On pay day, don’t cash both of your A&W gift certificates at once. Save one for later.

#1. If you see a penny pick it up.. and keep it.

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Qualifications to become a Canadian astronaut

More than 5,000 Canadians have applied for two spots open to be Canada’s next astronauts. Mike’s top five lesser known qualifications to become a Canadian astronaut.

#5. Must have valid class 12 driver’s license.

#4. Must be able to hold your breath for a really long time.

#3. Must love Tang.

#2. Must have really long arms.

#1. Must be over four-foot-nine or have reached your ninth birthday. They don’t have booster seats on the Shuttle.

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