Tag: driving

Top five ways to avoid distractions while driving

There is a town in Illinois that is now looking at banning eating or drinking while driving. Texting or talking on the phone while driving is already illegal. Whether it’s eating or texting, driving while distracted is bad. Mike’s top five ways to avoid distractions while driving.

#5. Try not to read each election sign completely, just know it’s something like “Elect me, yada yada yada. I’m the best, the other guy is bad. Yada, yada, yada.”.

#4. Auto forward all cell phone calls to your Twitter feed and then have the radio DJ read it on-air as your driving.

#3. Ask everyone else in the car to remain in a locked up-right position until the vehicle had come to complete stop in front of the terminal building.

#2. If you hear your name called on the Jamaica contest, remember 101 seconds is more than enough time to safely pull over to the side of the road, but just in case it isn’t, maybe just drive to work on the shoulder of the road during peak hours.

#1. To help you ignore the phone, set your ring tone to sound like someone giving you directions.

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Mike's top five rejected new traffic laws

The toughest driving laws in the country went into effect in B.C. on September 20th, 2010. The Solicitor-general has an extremely hard-hitting package of penalties he’ll be announcing later this month. For example: a driver is caught going more than 40 kilometers an hour over the speed limit will have their vehicle impounded for seven days. I actually had submitted some of my own ideas to the Solicitor General, about toughening up the driving laws, but all of my ideas were rejected. Mike’s top five rejected new traffic laws.

#5. Blow over .05: forfeit your empties and your bunk-buddy on Non-Celebrity Rehab has to be Gary Busey or Amy Winehoue.

#4. Speeding in a school zone: loose a mirror and you have to make everyone’s lunches for a week.

#3. Coffee orders only, in the drive thru.

If you need more than a coffee go inside.

Special order coffees: also, inside.

#2. Texting while driving: loose your car.

Or, loose your phone, if your phone is worth more than your car.

(even tougher) you loose your phone, but you’re stuck with your plan.

#1. Meeting with the ICBC adjuster after your accident, replaced with PGARA Hit to Pass with the offending driver.

 

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