Groundhog day is February 2nd. Mike’s top five ways to have fun on Groundhog Day.
#5. Watch the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day, then watch it again the next day and the next day…
#4. Go around the office all day making crude jokes about seeing ‘Willy’s shadow.’
#3. Bring a big flashlight to work and amaze your co-workers by making amusing shadows on everyone’s walls.
#2. Get up on the morning, put on your Wookie costume, run around the backyard screaming “me shadow, me shadow, I can’ts finds me shadow”.
#1. A pile of fake fur on the kitchen floor, a large box of Groundhog Helper on the counter and let the kids figure it out for themselves.
So does eating something cooked in a stomach make your stomach a cannibal?
The slow cooker is something I have used for a long time, I just love the idea of slow cooked food for some reason. However, while I was reading up on slow cookery, I found a few operational instructions that sound quite amusing. Mike’s top five things that sound funny when you’re talking about slow cookers.
#5. Discontinue use if cord is severed.
#4. Do not poke chicken.
#3. Immersing in cold water may damage the crock.
#2. Probe to be used to determine meat temperature only.
#1. Precautions should be taken as the porcelain bowl may become slippery.
Not to ruin your Thanksgiving dinner, but, two years ago The Suzuki Foundation released a report saying that the average Thanksgiving dinner was chalk full of pesticides. Mike’s top five signs your turkey dinner might contain high levels of pesticides.
#5. Fewer flies than usual hovering over the center piece.
#4. Fewer flies than usual hovering over passed-out dinner guests.
#3. David Suzuki and a guy with a clipboard sitting at the far end of the table all evening – giggling.
#2. That after-dinner bloated feeling replaced by an urge to sting whomever just passed you the broccoli.
#1. You find yourself reminiscing about the “good old days” when turkey dinners just contained high levels of melamine.