Tag: mayor

Things the mayor has considered but has decided NOT to get into

People are speculating about what lies ahead for our current mayor as his term comes to an end. Mike’s top five things the mayor has considered but has decided NOT to get into.
#5. Mall Santa (except, he’d have to be too cheery all the time).
#4. Star Trek convention organizer (except, people would get him confused with one of the characters).
#3. Bridge builder (except, he might not be able to get a matching federal infrastructure grant).
#2. Daycare provider (except, after years of babysitting city council..).
#1. I heard him say in a speech at the Red Cedar book club awards, that his favorite books are historical fiction (books about real events that are totally made-up). So he was thinking he could combine his fondness for mixing up the truth with fiction and become a morning show DJ (except, federal politics might be more lucrative).

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Things on the new mayors to-do list

We have a new mayor! Dan Rogers won the mayor’s seat in yesterday’s civic election. Dan had 9,270 votes to Don Zerowski’s 6,505. Mike’s top five things on the new mayors to-do list.
#5. Start planning some exotic vacations – errr “trade missions”.
#4. Spend some quality time in thoughtful consideration of the weight of the onerous mandate given you by the people of this city and the awesome implications of such – naw; psych!
#3. Blue zone garbage pick up – twice a week now!
#2. Park wherever you want!!
#1. Send out 9, 270 Thank You cards!

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Problems with running for local office

We have four people running for mayor and a bunch of new people running for council and school board and regional district. These people deserve our respect. There are many difficulties associated with running for local office. It’s not as easy as one might think. Mike’s top five problems with running for local office.

#5. Paying full price for your newspaper ads that show up right next to the escort service ads.

#4. Your “a free Canterbury for your vote” platform could end up costing you more than you thought.

#3. Local media are biting, unforgiving, mindful watchdogs of the public trust.

#2. Trying not to use the words “nard” at candidate debates. Remember it’s “honorable nard”!

#1. Changing the word Elect to Re-Elect on all your old election signs..

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Things that could go wrong if our city council took a lie detector test

Vancouver city council held a secret meeting. After the meeting someone leaked a secret document to the media. Now they want the RCMP to investigate the leak to see who leaked the document. Yesterday someone suggested they all take a lie detector test and they all agreed. The RCMP won’t use the lie detector test as evidence, but the councillors are all going to do it anyway, because no one wants to be the one who says he won’t take the test. This sounds like one of the silly situations our council gets into! The top five things that could go wrong if our city council took a lie detector test.
#5. They could ALL be lying.
#4. What if someone throws in a question on economics.
#3. What if Jeff Foxworthy is asking the questions and there are no kids to help.
#2. What if Catherine Hansen is asking the questions and Todd Whitcomb is the judge.
#1. We might find out who’s idea it was to pour water on the ice jam last winter!

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A catchy slogan for my campaign

I’m thinking of running for mayor but I haven’t picked a catchy slogan for my campaign yet. Top five suggested campaign slogans.

#5. Got Mike? Get Mayor!

#4. I’m not Dan Rogers.

#3. I can’t even spell revitalization – so I won’t bore you with speeches about it.

#2. Put the “rinse” back in P’rince’ George!

#1. Vote for me and I’ll tell you what The Sound of Money is!

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