#5. You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you have spilled
your guts to a telemarketer.
#4. Spit is your number one cleaning agent (and hair gel).
#3. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
#3a.You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
#2. You cling to high moral ground when it comes to your kids threatening each other with toy weapons; however you would be willing to look the other way when it comes to Caillou (that kid is ___ whiner!!!).
#1. You have hidden in the bathroom in your own house.
It’s Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday. They did a survey of a few moms to find out what they’d really like for Mother’s Day. Mike’s top five things mom really wants for Mother’s Day.
#5. To eat an entire meal without the discussion of human bodily functions at the table.
#4. Go shopping at the mall with her daughter or son without the “why is this person my mother” attitude.
#3. At least five minutes in the bathroom without someone knocking on the door because they can’t find something.
#2. Not the entire Die Hard series on Blue Ray, not a kettle, not a good sturdy shovel (unless you want to wear it).
#1. I believe the correct formula is, hours of labour, times years of service, expressed in dollars.
Mike’s top five things mom probably doesn’t really want for Mother’s Day.
#5. Breakfast in bed. Unless you’re planning on doing ALL the dishes and putting everything away, cold food on a tray is not a treat.
#4. “Parenting made easy” from Lohan – Spears publishing.
#3. The “Wine Bra”. I know it seeeems like a great idea and Dad really likes his beer hat, but ..
#2. “If she liked the Snuggie, she’ll love the Snay-pron (Shuggie apron combo), right?” No!
#1. This poem:
Today is your special day. It has arrived.
Instead of dinner, let’s watch the Canucks and Hawks in game five.