from 4 years ago…
Top five reasons why you may not be able to keep your New Year’s resolution this year.
#5. Those patches don’t stick very well.
#4. You’re just the President and you really don’t have that much power if Congress won’t support your ideas.
#3. Everyone else is making it difficult for you to do it and that’s why you can never do anything with your life.
#2. That pesky hobbit stole your ring and now Sméagol is really ticked at you.
#1. You forgot you made a resolution this year and have already done it twice.
Studies show that 59% of people have already broken their New Year’s resolutions by January 10th. I know I have. Here are my top five already broken New Year’s resolutions.
#5. No more using two letter words in Scrabble. (That one didn’t last long at all) My apologies to the organizers and contestants at the annual January 1st World Scrabble Show Down on Saturday.
#4. Reduce my caffeine consumption (ha haha ha ha hahaa haha ha).
#3. I will stop screaming “I won, I won!” every time I use the ATM (Hm, I made it to Monday).
#2. I will write more clever and intellectually stimulating top five lists (Fail).
#1. I will stop making up mediocre, easily attainable resolutions for myself (Fail).
They say by tomorrow, 60% of us will have already failed to keep our New Year’s resolutions. Top five reasons why you may not be able to keep your New Year’s resolution this year.
#5. It seems really stupid now.
#4. You can’t remember what it was.
#3. Everyone else is making it difficult for you to do it and that’s why you can never keep any of your resolutions.
#2. You accidentally forgot and have already done it twice, so it’s too late.
#1. That damn patch won’t stick and the gum tastes like shoes!