There is way too much paperwork coming home form school these days. Permission forms, contact forms, hot lunch slips, “Tell us about your child” forms, “Can you be the driver?” forms… etc. Mike’s top five signs there’s too much paperwork for parents.
#5. Your criminal records check got mixed up with your hot lunch request form and a policeman just showed up at your door with a dog, a pop and a bag of chips.
#4. The kids are telling YOU, you can’t watch TV till all your paperwork is done.
#3. You’ve totally memorized everyone’s birth certificate and care card numbers. However you couldn’t remember the phone number to the radio station when you heard that Madonna Mega Weekend song yesterday morning.
#2. On the “tell us about your child” form you put, “2006 Dodge Caravan, capable of taking as many as six children, two boosters”.
#1. You just realized you can’t spell, you can’t make an “S” anymore in hand writing and there is no way you’re ever putting anything on the line for Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.
It’s Teacher Appreciation Week. We should all show appreciation to the teachers that have made us who we are today. Here are the teachers that have made me who I am today.
#5. Mr. Drieger; who taught me there are two principal’s lists, a good one and the other one.
#4. Mr. Engin; who taught me, you CAN fail racquetball.
#3. Mr. Knob; who taught me restraint and not to always use the easy punchlines.
#2. Mr. Kotter; who taught me never to sign notes from home, ‘Mike’s mom’.
#1. Mrs. Dubner; My favorite teacher quote: “Mr. Benny, if you think, when you get out in the real world, you’ll be able to find a job where you just sit around and tell jokes all day, you are sadly mistaken!”
It’s been 18 yrs since BC Teachers have had a negotiated contract (under Mike Harcourt). They have only had one negotiated deal in the last 30yrs. Now, it sounds like this round will likely end in back to work legislation. Mike’s top five ways to peacefully end the current labour dispute.
#5. Wait another 18 to 30 years for the next negotiated deal.
#4. Re-elect Harcourt!? I don’t really like this one, but I need five on my list (it’s called Mike’s top five…) I would gladly welcome any other suggestions here. The top five list doesn’t air til tomorrow morning at 7:10am.
#3. How about Bill 23, ordering the government back to work?
#2. Quick end to the dispute: The education minister and the president of the BCTF both get a cell phone and the first one to text Ashley the correct age of anyone from our Famous Birthday list gets to have their way.
#1. It’s weird, crazy and strange, but — good faith bargaining based on mutual respect?
Here we are at the start of the second week. Mike’s top five ways you can tell it’s the second week of school.
#5. Someone named, “School Dist 57” is showing up on your caller ID, but no one in the house can remember them calling.
#4. There’s more writing on the outside of your kids binder than the inside.
#3. Inside shoes are already outside shoes.
#2. $30 for additional Art supplies, $75 for field hockey and volleyball fees, a 15 dollar cultural fee, please sell these four cases of chocolate nuts by next Thursday! I’m sorry – how much is that clarinet?! It’s a good thing we have free public education in Canada.
#1. Neatly packed, nutritional lunch in an enviro bag, replaced by a five dollar bill and Mars bar.