Here we are at the start of the second week. Mike’s top five ways you can tell it’s the second week of school.
#5. Someone named, “School Dist 57” is showing up on your caller ID, but no one in the house can remember them calling.
#4. There’s more writing on the outside of your kids binder than the inside.
#3. Inside shoes are already outside shoes.
#2. $30 for additional Art supplies, $75 for field hockey and volleyball fees, a 15 dollar cultural fee, please sell these four cases of chocolate nuts by next Thursday! I’m sorry – how much is that clarinet?! It’s a good thing we have free public education in Canada.
#1. Neatly packed, nutritional lunch in an enviro bag, replaced by a five dollar bill and Mars bar.
The kids are back to school now, which means school buses are back on the road. Here are the top five pet peeves about school busing.
#5. Having exact change and nobody wants it!
#4. Trying to get a good seat on science fair day.
#3. Anytime anyone asks a question about anything, Miss Frizzle turns it into another field trip.
#2. A bumpy ride to school after eating a bowl of cheerios and milk.
#1. Not nearly as much gum under the seat in September as there is in June.
Sometimes it’s tough to get up for the first day of school after you’ve been sleeping in for 2 months! Mike’s top five tips for getting up for school today.
#5. One good wiff of your gym strip that’s been sitting in your back pack all summer should help to get you going (if it doesn’t knock you out).
#4. Arrange for your mom to have fed the dog a tin of beans the night before and send him into your room at 7am!
#3. Think of it as a chance to hear about all the great things everybody else did over the summer.
#2. Try an extra large “triple, triple” with double espresso chaser.
#1. Remember, you are the principal! You have to go to school!!
Tuesday is the first day of school! From a parent’s perspective, Mike’s top five best things about the first day of school.
#5. Finally back to lying around in your hammock, eating bonbons watching Ellen and Dr. Oz all day (isn’t that what you do when they go to school?)!
#4. Hearing yourself think for the first time since late June.
#3. If you tidy-up somewhere, it will stay tidy (for at least 90 minutes today).
#2. Reminding the kids all the things they did this summer, so they don’t answer the question, “what did you do this summer?” with “nothing”.
#1. Looking forward to a quiet house next week, so you don’t miss Mike & Ashley calling your name on the payroll game.
From a student’s perspective, Mike’s top five best things about the first day of school.
#5. It’s not so much “the first day” as “the first 90 minutes of school”.
#4. You’re not behind in homework yet!
#3. The Lulu Lemon logo you sewed to your Superstore free headband still looks great.
#2. Nobody knows who you are yet. It’s a street-cred do-over.
#1. It’s the one day of the year, your locker is clean.
Schools open today for admin staff. Classes start next week. Mike’s top five signs school starts next week.
#5. It’s been getting warmer and starting to feel like summer finally.
#4. Two pairs of jean and one pair of court shoes and you’re broke.
#3. Next week you may actually be able to find a seat at the food court.
#2. “Rate your teacher dot com” is getting about a million hits an hour.
#1. Tons of people erasing the big red star from September 7th on the calender and putting a big red star on September 6th.
As the school year comes to an end it’s time to start thinking about teacher gifts. Seriously, you can’t beat a Tim Horton’s gift card, but if you’re trying – here are Mike’s top five other great teacher gift ideas.
#5. A handsome plaque listing all of your teachers accomplishments next to Ghandi’s accomplishments.
#4. Sunglasses. To protect their ‘pupils’ (ha ha ha ha..).
#3. A Pi.
#2. Don’t give them anything and say ‘it’s the principal of the thing’ (ha ha ha ha..).
#1. Summers off!!