Tag: space

The race is on to beam Martian DNA back to Earth | Geekquinox

File this one under “How could this possibly go wrong?”. Geez, don’t these guys watch movies?

J. Craig Venter, the American biologist who led the first private efforts to sequence the human genome, wants to send what he calls a ‘digital biological converter/teleporter’ to Mars. He hopes it will find Martian DNA, sequence it and beam the information back to Earth for scientists to recreate the Martian lifeforms in a lab.

via The race is on to beam Martian DNA back to Earth | Geekquinox – Yahoo! News Canada.

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Who killed the dinosaurs? Not this asteroid!

The theory of which asteroid was responsible for killing the dinosaurs 65 million years ago has been shattered… (article from Huffington Post).

New data from NASA’s WISE (Wide-field Infrared Survey Explorer) satellite suggests that an asteroid from the Baptistina family was actually not — as previously thought — responsible for the mass extinction.

“As a result of the WISE science team’s investigation, the demise of the dinosaurs remains in the cold case files,” Lindley Johnson, program executive for the Near Earth Object (NEO)

Scientists still believe that an asteroid hitting Earth 65 million years ago was responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs, but now they’re less sure of where exactly it came from.

There are people working on this? Really? Working on which asteroid got the dinos? Why?

When we find out which asteroid did it, what will we do? Send them a note…

Dear Asteroid, We have discovered that you are the asteroid that whacked all the dinos 65,000,000 yrs ago on the planet Earth, enclosed is our bill for clean-up.

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Space junk: she's a comin'

You just saw the words “space junk” and all you can picture is an funky alien with a large behind? Me too. NASA’s defunct satellite is now scheduled to hit the Earth sometime this afternoon. Top five signs space junk is coming your way.

#6. They keep changing Facebook.

#5. All of a sudden there is an eerie stillness and everyone is pointing at you while slowly backing away (could also be the humus).

#4. Someone calls this afternoon to ask if “it’s there yet”.

#3. 4:20, more of a bang than usual.

#2. The theme from Armageddon won’t stop playing.

#1. Loud noise outside, people screaming, big crash, then little bits of satellite everywhere.

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50 years of space travel

It was on this date In 1961 (50 years ago), Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first man in space.

To quote wiki: He was the first human to journey into outer space when his Vostok spacecraft completed an orbit of the Earth on April 12, 1961.

He circled the earth for 108 minutes – before he could finally find a parking spot (ha ha ha ha).

Recently there has been some controversy about the “first man in space” claim. So to clarify; Yuri was “the first man to intentionally travel in space”.

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The NDP have perfected time travel!

The national leader of the NDP is stopping in Prince George. Jack Layton will be here to make an announcement at 9am and then he hits the road. He’s scheduled to be in Cranbrook by the early afternoon.

Boy, PG at 9am and Cranbrook by early afternoon? That just doesn’t seem possible.

I mean it’s possible for a guy like Michael Ignatieff, who just calls up his brother in-law in Sweden who’s in charge of the Lithuanian Air Force (and is thinking of running for the Prime Ministers job in Luxembourg) to stop by the PG airport in a F16 and “off ya go”.

It would also be totally possible for Prime Minister Steve to make the trip. He would just call in one of those billionaire rich guys he has in his back pocket and they could scoot over and jet him off to Cranbrook on a moments notice.

But, Jack Layton?

We’re talkin’ Air Canada here. If he leaves on the 10:15 this morning, he’s not in Cranbrook til 6:30 tonight and if he’s driving to Cranbrook, he better keep that 9am announcement really short and hope for a strong tail wind.

[Dramatic pause] Unless the NDP have perfected time travel with some sort of New Democratic Wormhole device. Yes! There is no other explanation. The NDP have perfected time travel!

Oh, and if you wouldn’t mind Mr. Layton – seeing as your going to be in your wormhole device, ripping through the time-space continuum anyway, we’ll have one medium single/single and a large black please – about an hour ago, please.

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Top five best things about living in space

Canadian astronaut Bob Thirsk is now living in the International Space Station where he’ll stay for six months. The top five best things about living in space.
#5. No ‘honey do’ list in space!
#4. No one up there talking about all the controversy with Jon and Kate.
#3. Any time you want, you just go ‘Huston we have a problem’ and everybody pays attention to you for a while.
#2. You can really bug the Russian guys by reminding them about the 1972 series and Paul Henderson.
#1. Every time somebody needs something from outside you go, ‘well, let’s see I have a Canada shoulder, a Canada elbow.. oh there it is, my Canada Arm!’

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Differences between Martian snow and Earth snow

The Canadian weather station on the Phoenix Mars Lander has spotted snow on Mars. Top five differences between Martian snow and Earth snow.

#5. On Mars 90% of the snow evaporates before it hits the ground.

#4. On Earth 90% of all the snow falls on The Hart.

#3. Martian weather stations can accurately predict snow with 95% accuracy.

#2. Here – we’re pretty sure it’s going to snow sometime between September and July. Every once in a while maybe August.

#1. On Mars it’s okay to eat yellow snow – but don’t touch the purple stuff!

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Qualifications to become a Canadian astronaut

More than 5,000 Canadians have applied for two spots open to be Canada’s next astronauts. Mike’s top five lesser known qualifications to become a Canadian astronaut.

#5. Must have valid class 12 driver’s license.

#4. Must be able to hold your breath for a really long time.

#3. Must love Tang.

#2. Must have really long arms.

#1. Must be over four-foot-nine or have reached your ninth birthday. They don’t have booster seats on the Shuttle.

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That satellite might crash here

There’s talk that maybe that busted US spy satellite might crash land somewhere near here. The top five signs a US spy satellite might be crash landing here.
#5. Government officials are saying there’s no way it’ll crash anywhere near here. Don’t worry.
#4. Three times now – you’re pretty sure you’ve seen the smoking man at the mall.
#3. Astronomy geeks are now actually IMing with conspiracy theory geeks.
#2. NASA officials were seen unpacking a giant trampoline.
#1. Google earth has replaced aerial photos of our town with radiating yellow circles.

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