Tag: St Patrick’s

St. Patrick’s Day Jokes!

St. Patrick’s death occurred on either March 8th or 9th in 461 A.D. Church officials weren’t sure so they added them together and made it the 17th. Good thing it wasn’t March 28th or 29th…


Mike’s Top Five Worst St. Patrick’s Day Jokes.

Lucky Charms
Lucky Charms – photo taken by Evan-Amos

#5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s day!

#4. Why did the leprechaun buy TWO lottery tickets? Dublin his odds!

#3. Why would you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn’t press your luck.

#2. Why are leprechauns always asking for money? Because they’re always a little short before payday.

#1. Where does a leprechaun buy his suits? From a four leaf clothier.


Top Five Ways To Get in Trouble on St Patrick’s Day.

#5. Eat haggis, drink scotch and insist Scotland and Ireland are the same thing.

#4. Wear a button that says “Kiss me, I’m Iris”.

#3. Instead of wearing something green, wear something until it’s green.

#2. Go door to door – demanding candy.

#1. Re-introduce snakes to the island.


Ways to tell your neighbor might be a Leprechaun

#5. Always tries to cover up his Irish accent by saying things like “G’day Mate..”.

#4. Rainbow always seems to end in his backyard.

#3. Spends his summers planting clover along foothills blvd…

#2. Always wears green and he isn’t even from Saskatchewan.

#1. Always thinks everyone is after his Lucky Charms!

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Preparations for St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick’s Day is one week today and here are the top five preparations you should be making for the big green event.

#5. Start setting up your “call in sick” for the 18th (Cough, cough, oh no I may be coming down with something. By next Tuesday you should be “man, I’ve been fighting this for a week now”).

#4. Listen to U2 and Van Morrison records, or if you’re a real glutton for punishment, Green Day.

#3. Forge a birth certificate for use at Kelly O’Brien’s.

#3a. Remove the giant construction paper Valentine’s heart from the fridge and replace it with the giant construction paper shamrock.

#2. Haul out the Patty O’ Furniture.

#1. Start cooking now so dinner is good and green by the 17th.

 

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