Tag: summer

Mike’s top five tips for floaters

wildwoodlandinn.wordpress.com
wildwoodlandinn.wordpress.com

If you’re contemplating a float down the Nechako this weekend, here are Mike’s top five tips for floaters…

#5. Though not necessary, it’s nice to have your Pleasure Craft Operator card mounted somewhere in the wheel house.

#4. Be sure to get off BEFORE Quesnel.

#3. If you encounter a 19 foot sturgeon, look over at the others and say “we’re gonna need a bigger boat”.

#2. Keep in mind, if you hit an iceberg and find yourself looking into the eyes of Kate Winslet. She will let go (I saw the movie).

#1. Remember when buying a floatation device you should be looking for something that is more “water proof” than “water resistant”.

#1a. Remember to bring a stash of O’Henry bars with you. Nothing says floater like an unwrapped O’Henry!

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It was soooo hot yesterday.

hotenough

How hot was it?

  • I saw two fire hydrants fighting over one dog.
  • The internal temperature of the work fridge was 1.7 degrees! (normally 1.6) Follow Workfridge on Twitter
  • I got a brain freeze from my espresso!
  • Cows were giving evaporated milk!
  • The Ice Cream Stand had to changed it’s name… Ice Cream Sit.
  • I saw a hipster wearing a sweater.
  • My Shih tzu asked to borrow my razor.
  • The city changed all bike lanes to bake lanes.
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Mike's top five other ways of expressing your hotness

It sure was hot yesterday and it’s going to be even hotter today! Aside from walking around saying “Boy this is hot!”, here are Mike’s top five other ways of expressing your hotness.

#5. “I’m sweating like Spencer Pratt at a spelling bee.”

#4. “My cows are giving evaporated milk.”

#3. “Pass me the spatula! I need to get out of my car seat.”

#2. “I’m sweating so much, I’ve shorted-out three ankle bracelets already!

#1. “My espresso gave me a brain freeze this morning.”

#1a. “I’m so hot, I’d test positive for Snapple right now!”

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Ways to tell summer is half over

Saturday, marked the halfway point of summer. Aside from the date on the calendar there are other ways to tell summer is half over.
#5. The kids are always home and holy cow do they ever ask a lot of questions!
#4. I’m thinking about returning my fishing license for a full refund.
#3. I can already totally block out anyone saying “I’m bored!” and “are we there yet?”.
#2. I’ve already had more holiday time than money to spend on holidays. “Guess what kids, it’s Puerto BackYarda again this weekend!”
#1. Moths the size of chickens!

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Top five signs it's summer at work

It’s a short week thanks to having Monday off. It’s already Wednesday and I love short weeks in the summer because so many people are on holidays and everywhere you go it’s TEMPS, part-timers & newbies… Mike’s top five signs it’s summer at work.
#5. Same DJ appears to be on anytime you turn on the radio.
#4. Usual polite smiles replaced by a lost-stares .
#3. The guy who delivers the paper out ranks everyone.
#2. Instead of the coffee cart, it’s the Pina Colotta cart at the staff meeting.
#1. All calls to anyone above supervisor are forwarded to the PG Golf and Curking Club.

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Top five ways to prepare for the heat

Might be a hot one today. Mike’s top five ways to prepare for a hot day.

#5. Put on extra ice cubes before you leave for work and consider putting a couple of ice packs in your pockets on the way out the door too.

#4. If you find yourself at the LC, pay the extra buck for the stuff from the cooler.

#3. See if the garden hose will reach the bedroom (for an improvised water bed in needed).

#2. Lock down the oven. Nobody cooks anything indoors! Coffee and toast cooked on the BBQ!

#1. Consider “just sandals” today, instead of your usual “socks and sandals”!

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