Here are some really funny tweaks to some well known CBC programs from Andrew Kurjata’s blog …
I read somewhere that Canadians are spending more time on-line than watching TV.
They say 18 hours a week on the Internet and just 17 hours a week watching TV.
So, there are 168 hours in a week, we sleep 56, work 40, tv and net 35.
That leaves 37 hours a week of nothing?
That does explain why I spend 5.286 hours a day staring off into space wondering what to do next. -Mike
The Bachelor Canada will air this fall! It will be a Canadian version of the hit show and will be shot this spring. Right now they are seeking potential Bachelorettes at CityTV.com/BachelorCanada. Mike’s top five differences between the American Bachelor and the Canadian Bachelor.
#5. We feel the need to spell it with a “u”. B-a-c-h-e-l-o-u-r.
#4. Instead of the host downing Margaritas in between segments, everyone passes around a giant beer.
#3. I don’t think the American version of the show has a Zamboni segment, does it?
#2. Roses cost a lot more up here, so instead, there will be a dandelion ceremony.
#1. Bachelors are selected from a pool of rejected contestants from Canada’s Worst Driver, Canada’s Worst Handyman and Man Tracker. Sorry ladies!
CBC has the TV show The Trouble with Experts on tonight. It’s a new documentary on the talking heads and experts we see on TV all the time. Mike’s top five signs that guy on TV isn’t a real expert.
#5. His top five list only has four items.
#4. He’s says if you order now, he’ll throw in this marvelous set of steak knives for free!
#3. He promises he won’t sell BC Rail or forgets to mention he might institute the HST if re-elected.
#2. Every time he hands you a bill he giggles uncontrollably for a few seconds.
#1. White shoes, white belt – gives it away every time!!
The Dragons’ Den is holding an open audition in Prince George on March 11th. All inventors and inovators are welcome to show their offerings. When it comes to inventions and inovations; they’re not all good. There have been quite a few failures in the past. So we don’t repeat our mistakes, here are Mike’s top five inventions that have failed in the past.
#5. The 1-D camera.
#4. Preparation G.
#3. Parking meter cozies.
#2. Prorogue-gane (a hair tonic that pauses hair growth).
#1. The precursor to G-Mail; F-Mail!
With the Olympics over, the TV can now be returned to it’s natural state. Mike’s top five signs the TV is back to normal.
#5. Nothing much worthwhile on.
#4. Jay Leno has a new job (his old one).
#3. Your eyes have to adjust back to a regular-def TV picture.
#2. The only talk of gold and silver is now from those “Cash for Gold” commercials (http://www.cashforgoldcanada.com/).
#1. World class elite athletics replaced by a rude British guy in a tight t-shirt, 20 castaways at Tribal Council and Uncle Charlie trying to put Tiger Woods out of business.