Tag: vote

Ways to increase voter turn out

Mike’s top five ways to increase voter turn out.

#5. Make them cheaper – 300 million to end up exactly where we were the day before, seems slightly ridiculous. Why not, the next federal election is 25% off!

#4. How about an election mascot? Election Ernie?! He could walk around handing out voters to suckers… I mean promises to suckers.

#3. It would be nice if they let you keep the little pencil after you vote.

#2. Why not jazz up the polling booths a bit? Instead of a card board folding wall, we could have a magical “cone of voting” lowered from the ceiling.

#1. How about everyone gets a cookie and some juice? It works at the blood donor clinic!

#1a. Instead of voting, voters get to wack the giant “Election 2015 Piniata” until a Prime Minister falls out.

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Shirley Bond and Pat Bell's to do list

Shirley Bond and Pat Bell were both re-elected last night (so was John Rustad in his newly formed riding). Here are the top five things on Shirley Bond and Pat Bell’s to do list today.
#5. Put that morning show idea on hold for now.. ‘Benny & Rae and Bond & Bell in The Morning’.
#4. Take down all your election signs and build a really cool ice fishing shack.
#3. Immediately introduce ‘The DJ Value Bill’, a resolution that removes all provincial taxation and sets a ceiling price of just $2.99 for all Wendy’s Value Combo Meals.
#2. Call John Rustad and remind him how you two are on the front page of the paper and he isn’t.
#1. Spend some quality time in thoughtful consideration of the weight of the onerous mandate given you by the people of this province and the awesome implications of such.. naw; psych! Party on dudes!

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Mike’s top five ways to make the next provincial election more exciting.
#5. More talk about SUVs and less talk about STVs.
#4. During candidate debates, “the next thing you say has to start with the first letter of last word the other guy just said”.
#3. All candidates names must rhyme with name of their riding.
#2. Swords.
#1. Have the all the polling stations manned by crazy morning show people, who don’t care about the issues and just want to hold your Egg McMuffin while you go vote.

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Top five voting No No's

It’s voting day today! Here are Mike’s top five No-No’s when voting today.
#5. Saying ‘It’s okay I brought my own ballot.’
#4. Yell from behind the voting screen, ‘I don’t think so!, I don’t think so!, Maybe, I don’t think so!’.
#3. Ask the returning officer if they can hold your gum.
#2. After you get your ballet, say: ‘Wow, another one! Thanks!’
#1. After several hours behind the voting screen, send up a puff of black smoke. (‘I’ve decided!’)

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