#5. You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you have spilled
your guts to a telemarketer.
#4. Spit is your number one cleaning agent (and hair gel).
#3. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
#3a.You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
#2. You cling to high moral ground when it comes to your kids threatening each other with toy weapons; however you would be willing to look the other way when it comes to Caillou (that kid is ___ whiner!!!).
#1. You have hidden in the bathroom in your own house.