#5. They’re taking him up in a balloon 24 miles then dropping him – – to see if he can break that 833 mph record free fall.
#4. Secretly installing ICBC’s largest red-light intersection camera in his head.
#3. Trying to find a giant “Sanitized for your protection” strip to fit across his head.
#2. Packing him up in smaller pieces so they can take him as carry-on luggage when they go to China.
#1. They’re really hoping he wins The River’s Diva Den contest, otherwise it’s just sandpaper and paint for the old boy.